Changing The World One Pansy At A Time!

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Flower Power!

A big shout out to all my fellow Pennsylvanians who wrote to me regarding my comments & predictions on the PA Primary. It was so great hearing from all of you, especially those in my little hometown. And so sad to me that I was proved so right. (that’s “right” not “Wright”) Change is the one constant in life & it is never easy.

Thanks also to the many who have written inquiring about my back. I elected not to have the surgery. Mainly because they couldn’t do a “tummy-tuck” at the same time. I’m doing a whole “holistic” approach. And I have to say that the acupuncture is really working. It’s so “new agey” but what the hell, it’s cheaper & less painful.

Speaking of “new age” TRACY ULLMAN! Have you watched her new series STATE OF THE UNION?? It is something else.
It is not quite a comedy because it is just too damn spot on.
Almost uncomfortable to watch because Tracy is so accurate in all her portrayals and she really crosses a line in every show.
Her CAMPBELL BROWN is flawless. And her weekly mocking of LAURIE DAVID (flying around the globe alone in her private plane to protest global warming!!) is priceless. Along with her brilliant DINA LOHAN boozing it up while LINDSAY pays the bar bills is hysterical. Last Sunday night she took on, God help us, ANDY ROONEY. Rooney is a sacred cow if ever there was one. He hasn’t said, or done, or read, or wrote, anything of any relevance since the JOHNSON Administration. But her lampooning seemed based on his “shakiness” which is likely Parkinson’s; and not that funny. You may as well make fun of the Pope. But there is nobody quite like Ullman & you are simply compelled to watch.

You know how I adore hydrangea! These little “candy stripers” in moss filled pots, that I just did, are really pretty. I was looking for lilacs to accompany them; but all the lilacs have “gone to florists” who can command a big price for cut ones especially here in L.A. So I found these gorgeous “eastern snowball” trees that work perfectly. They are in the verbena family & are lush with long lasting blooms. They do not smell but sometimes fragrance needs to be sacrificed for beauty…it’s just like dating!

In a related topic…I do not usually plug florists. Hmmmm let me re-phrase that. I do not, as a habit; promote individual floral designers. But there’s a florist in L.A. that is simply divine. They do not know me, but I know them. In The Grove, a chic shopping plaza in Los Angeles, there is a private bank that has the most unusual flower arrangements every week. Upon investigation, I learned that the company responsible for them is called RENAISSANCE FLOWERS in Hollywood. Run! Don’t walk. I have never failed to be impressed by their work.
Just tonight I walked by the bank to see a low glass bowl about 2 inches high & 6 inches across (think of a “pie plate”) filled with orange ranuculas & green verbena. I mean, who does that?
And it as stunning!

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Monday, April 28, 2008

And the winner is...

The 1st Annual GayGardener Award for wacky/tacky garden decor item:

Check it out. Think those stately elms of yours are a bit boring?
Mopey maples? Ossified Oaks? Brighten them up (& You) by NAILING a face to the trunk.
Sweet Jesus! Do we really need this? Is this funny?
Bad enough those wooden cut-outs that portray "grandma" bent over in the flower garden.
And you KNOW how I feel about rubber tires or God forbid, toilets being used as planters etc.

I'll paraphrase the famous JOYCE KILMER poem:

Poems are made by fools like me;
But only an idiot does this to a tree.

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Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Separate Galaxies

OMG! Shocked! I tell you I am Shocked! At the news that STAR JONES is divorcing AL REYNOLDS after more than 3 years of Marriage! If these two love birds can't make it what chance do the rest of us have?! It all started so beautifully with so much promise. AL on one knee (just one) proposing to STAR in front of thousands of professional basketball fans ( He never did like the limelight) And then Star's yearlong promotion of the wedding (literally!) on THE VIEW. The Website! The Guest List! The Gift List!
What happened? I mean sure, I've heard from dozens of friends on both coasts that Al liked to tear it up at various same gender bars! But hey! Maybe he just likes to dance! does that make him a less qualified husband than say, JOHN TRAVOLTA?
Star! Al! You are both in my prayers!

So remember when I had that Virus that killed my computer? And my poor baby sat at BEST BUY'S GEELK SQUAD HEADQUARTERS for a month? Of course you do! And remember when they told me that the trouble was a roach infestation? And I strenuously begged to differ. But said I had a "TROJAN" "WIN" VIRUS? And they looked at me like I was on drugs? "yea, oh sure, it's a virus"
Well GEEK SQUAD GEEKS (by the way, YOU SUCK) Check this out:

LONDON (Reuters) - Cyber-criminals are behind a dramatic rise in stealthy programs called "trojans" that infect computers to sell rogue software, send unwanted email or steal personal data, a study has found.

In a report released in London, Microsoft said the number of trojans removed from computers around the world in the second half of 2007 rose by 300 percent from the first half.

The figure has risen so sharply because more computers are fitted with software that detects malicious programs and because criminals had come to see trojans as their "tool of choice," the report said.

"The numbers have simply exploded, it's huge," said Vinny Gullotto, general manager of the Microsoft Malware Protection Center. "There is a lot of criminal intent there."

Trojans can log keystrokes to gather passwords, send spam from private computers or harvest email addresses or personal information for criminal purposes.

The most common family of trojans last year was "Win32/Zlob," a piece of malicious software, or malware, that people unwittingly download from the Internet.

Its designers trick people into saving it by telling them they need a new piece of software to watch video online.

Once installed, it bombards people with pop-up messages and bogus flashing warnings that their computer is infected.

The messages say: "Your computer is infected! Windows has detected spyware infection. Click here to protect your computer."

The trojan then sends adverts offering to sell rogue anti-spyware on sites that could expose customers to credit card fraud. Microsoft said the problem is global and linked to organized criminal gangs.

"The majority (of trojans) come from the (United) States, China, Russia and South America," Gullotto said on the fringes of the Infosecurity Europe trade conference on Tuesday.

Microsoft said the number of computers around the world that were made safe after being infected with trojans rose from one million in the second half of 2006 to 19 million in the second half of 2007.

"Win32/Zlob," is the EXACT Virus I told the Geek Squad geeks I had. They never HEARD OF IT!!

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Monday, April 21, 2008

"What Color is Your Parachute, Hillary?

I’m thinking a lot about broken promises tonight. So indulge me, while I break a promise to you & talk about the campaign for the Presidency.

Tomorrow is the Pennsylvania Primary. Also known as “Hillary’s last stand” (Until the next stand comes along…Indiana anyone?) I am shocked that this whole thing is still going on. Any other candidate who lost 11? 12? Primaries in a row would have already endorsed their opponent & moved on, but not Hillary. And I think she was right to stay in. Tomorrow evening will be her crowning achievement. Already predicted to win by as little as 5 points & as much as 20, Sen. Clinton knows the people of Pennsylvania & so do I.

I was born in a suburb of Philadelphia called Roslyn. But I have always had delusions of grandeur & so said I was from a neighboring town called, Willow Grove. Largely because it sounded better to me & had more swimming pools! There were even a few “Jews” living there; which I thought the ultimate in exotic glamour. After all, as everyone knew, the “Jews” were in Show Business!! But I digress.

My father said “colored people” til the day he died. He died in 1997. Less polite people than my Dad said “the N word” I remember my Grandmother proudly stating that she was voting for (famously racist) Mayor Frank Rizzo, because he would “keep the blacks in line” I didn’t really appreciate that because I didn’t know any “blacks” And actually wouldn’t go to school with any African Americans until the late 80s when I was in college. And I preferred to focus on the fact that Philadelphia was the HOMETOWN of PRINCESS GRACE!!!

James Carville is famously quoted as saying that
Pennsylvania is Pittsburgh & Philadelphia with Alabama in between” It’s a famous quote because it’s true. But it’s not just the “tween” part. My little hamlet lays just 20 minutes outside Philadelphia, but it may as well be a world away!

I would like to think that in the last 20 years, things, even in the suburbs of Philly, have changed. I would be wrong to think that. In conversations with my Mother, who to this day thinks “Sadam Hussein & “Osama Bin Ladin” are the same person because “THE PRESIDENT told her that” I know the deal. She says she’s voting for Hillary because she just “doesn’t know who this Obama person is, I mean he came out of nowhere!” Nor is she interested in my instruction to go to Obama’s website or to ask me any question on any position & I’ll explain Sen Obama’s thoughts. Nope her mind is made up. As it has been since 1968!

I wish she was alone. But I know women like her are legion in the state & the country. And they all look distressingly like GERALDINE FERARRO if not Hillary herself. These are women who are now widows because their husbands drank too much & died too young. And by God, are they “bitter” But not at Hillary! They would like to reward Clinton for “putting up with it!” Just like they did.

This is not to say that there are not intelligent, thoughtful people of both sexes who simply feel that Hillary Clinton is the best person for the job. There are still way too many gay people, for my liking, who are rabid fans (I guess they don’t recall “Don’t Ask, don’t tell” or worse yet, The Defense of Marriage Act) I mean
LOOK!!! CHELSEA CLINTON GOES TO GAY BARS!!! I think there is still a little something too “Judy Garlandesque” about folks like me identifying with the Clinton Victimology.

So I can delude myself that PA Has changed. Then I read this in The New York Observer:

Gonna Fly Now! Clinton Runs as Rocky In Philly
Pennsylvania Crowd Says It Doesn’t Trust Obama: ‘President Named Barack?’

PHILADELPHIA—“We need her,” Barbara Vizzini, a 46-year-old equipment operator from Middletown, said before Hillary Clinton took the stage at a rally in Fairless Hills Monday night. “If we don’t get her, we’re going to end up with John McCain.”

What about Barack Obama? Why couldn’t he beat the Republican nominee?
The race thing,” interjected her colleague Daniel Kirner, 52, from Tullytown.
“I mean, a president named Barack?” agreed Ms. Vizzini.

Oh, it gets worse….

“She’s got this one locked,” said Mary Yates, a 67-year-old retired worker in a chemical factory. “No Muslim is going to be president. No drug addict. If Hillary isn’t the one, everyone I know will vote for John McCain.”

And this:

“I don’t like the superdelegate system,” said Mara Volpe, a 54-year-old aide to special-education students, who watched Mrs. Clinton in Fairless Hills. “Would I be really happy if that’s how she won? No. But I would be able to live with that.”
“It’s like our votes don’t count,” said Ms. Vizzini, the equipment operator. “I’m not for it.”

(When told that the superdelegates constituted Mrs. Clinton’s best chance of becoming the nominee, she amended her statement: “Then I’m for it.”)


And consider this little nugget from Monday’s Washington Post, in a story by Kevin Merida and Jose Antonio Vargas datelined Scranton, Pa.:

“Barack Obama’s campaign opened a downtown office here on March 15, just in time for the annual St. Patrick’s Day parade. It was not a glorious day for Team Obama. Some of the green signs the campaign had trucked in by the thousands were burned during the parade, and campaign volunteers — white volunteers — were greeted with racial slurs.”

And this, my friends, is the Pennsylvania I know. They can look any fact in the eye & quickly deny it. And though they’re smart enough now to deny it or play coy, there is no way they’re going to vote for “the colored guy”

So, I’m praying that Barack can keep her to within 10 points. And of course I’m praying to ST.JUDE Because he’s the patron of the IMPOSSIBLE.

Either way it doesn’t much matter. Short of stealing this election, its simply too late for her to be the nominee. So I say let her have this little triumph gained by appealing to people’s “baser instincts” This son of the City of Brotherly Love is supporting the “Muslim Drug Addict”

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Friday, April 18, 2008

R.I.P. Paw-Paw & The Rabbit Suicides

Jesus! Just when I got the pregnant man out of my nightmares along comes this Yale “artist” Have you heard this one?

ALIZA SHVARTS, a senior art major at Yale, artificially inseminated herself "as often as possible" while periodically taking abortifacient drugs to induce miscarriages for her senior art project.

Beginning next Tuesday, Shvarts will be displaying her senior art project, a documentation of a nine-month process during which she artificially inseminated herself "as often as possible" while periodically taking abortifacient drugs to induce miscarriages. Her exhibition will feature video recordings of these forced miscarriages as well as preserved collections of the blood from the process....

The display of Aliza Shvarts' project will feature a large cube suspended from the ceiling of a room in the gallery of Green Hall. Shvarts will wrap hundreds of feet of plastic sheeting around this cube; lined between layers of the sheeting will be the blood from Shvarts' self-induced miscarriages mixed with Vaseline in order to prevent the blood from drying and to extend the blood throughout the plastic sheeting.

Aliza Shvarts will then project recorded videos onto the four sides of the cube. These videos, captured on a VHS camcorder, will show her experiencing miscarriages in her bathrooom tub, she said. Similar videos will be projected onto the walls of the room.

HOWEVER, The New York Sun reports that Aliza Shvarts' artificial insemination and miscarriage art project is just "creative fiction." Yale University released a statement this afternoon:
"Ms. Shvarts is engaged in performance art," a Yale spokeswoman, Helaine Klasky, said. "She stated to three senior Yale University officials today, including two deans, that she did not impregnate herself and that she did not induce any miscarriages. The entire project is an art piece, a creative fiction designed to draw attention to the ambiguity surrounding form and function of a woman's body."

Ms. Klasky went on to suggest that Yale would not have permitted a project of the sort described in the student newspaper. "Had these acts been real, they would have violated basic ethical standards and raised serious mental and physical health concerns."

But wait…now Shvarts is denying the denial!

Geez, her parents must be so proud! this si such a fuc**** FREAK SHOW! The "rabbit didn't die"...IT KILLED HIMSELF!

MY DEEPEST SYMPATHIES TO MARTHA STEWART on the loss of her beloved Chow,
Paw Paw. You know, Martha was the real inspiration behind TheGayGardener. I wanted to come up with something to keep the world moving along at a “pretty clip” while Martha was in the slammer. And friends had often referred to me as the gay Martha Stewart (!)
Dearest Martha I know exactly how you feel. My Sam was also 13 like your Paw Paw when I had to let him go. And his animal companion kept a little vigil just like your Francesca & Sharkey. I guess where we do part company is I couldn’t come up with a lovely hand-embroidered & ribboned “shroud” like you did for your dog. Damn it Martha! Even in “pet-death” you really make a person feel inadequate! Love ya anyway!

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Art IS everywhere!

I just saw this "Rock Arch" in the parking lot of a Beverly Hills Radiology office. Something to contemplate while you're waiting for your X-rays, I guess.

The other is more "officially" art. It stands in front of the new BCAM at LACMA! Short for the Broad Contemporary Art Museum at the Los Angeles Contemporary Museum of Art (!!!!) Bcam has not generally been well received. Its sort of an "annex" that still feels like one. And the "Broad" in BCAM refers to developer, ELI BROAD, who, um, backed out of actually donating the Broad art to the Broad Museum.
Art is Show Business for the filthy rich! Anyway the above installation by artist CHRIS BURDEN shows over 200 restored street lamps that are arresting by day & positively glorious by night!

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Thursday, April 17, 2008

Judy Garland & Liberace? Si! Si!

Many of you have written to inquire about my JUDY GARLAND rose bush....well here's the first bloom of the season. " A Star is Born"

You all know how I love Craigslist. I've bought, I've sold, I've hooked up (just kidding!) Sometimes for fun I check out the jobs available. In Los Angeles there are so many unbelievably crappy jobs with impossible requirements that pay nothing. Literally nothing. Oh you'll get a "tape" a "reel" "experience" the "chance to network" but cash? Nope! These are usually jobs in show business. Here's a fun one I fond this week! I love the irony that the professional organizer needs an organizer!:


Available ASAP: Part-time independent contractor Personal Assistant opportunity working with very busy CEO of professional organizing company in the Sherman Oaks/Van Nuys area.
About this position:
On-the-job training.
Personal errands including (but not limited to) car maintenance, food/beverage necessary for meeting preparation, retrieving mail, sorting bills, grocery shopping, shopping for office staff and professional organizer staff needs.
Light house cleaning.
Working with and reporting to CEO and Director of Operations on general, day-to-day office tasks.
Coordinating CEO‚s personal calendar with the company business calendar (which is maintained by the Director of Operations).
General office duties.
Responsible for checking CEO‚s voicemail on cell phone, and typing contents of each voicemail twice daily.
Responsible for an end-of-day re-cap of completed and pending tasks.\
Job Requirements:
Must have a minimum three (3)-years experience as a Personal Assistant.
Must be a quick-learner.
Must be willing to use a Blackberry (provided by company) in addition to the use of personal cell phone.
Must have a reliable, functional vehicle that is kept clean at all times.
Must be a stickler for punctuality, organization and tidiness.
Must be able to RESPONSIBLY multi-task (i.e. juggle many balls without dropping any of them).
Must be able to anticipate the needs of CEO.
Must take and follow direction accurately and well.
Must be willing and able to be in communication at all times if/when encountering difficulties completing tasks.
Must be proficient at Microsoft Office (preferably the newer version ˆ 2007).
Must be a master at prioritizing, and knowing the difference between what is urgent and what is an emergency (they‚re not the same).
Must be a master of discretion, and must be prepared to interact with sensitive and confidential materials.
Must function with a high level of integrity, accountability and efficiency.
How to apply for this position:
1. If you meet ALL of the above criteria (please do not apply if you don‚t), please type ˆ in the BODY of an email ˆ 300 words (or less) describing why you think you are a perfect candidate for this position. Email address is
2. At the end of your email, type your name in all CAPS, followed by your contact phone number.
3. Attach your resume as a PDF file (only PDF files, please).
Thank you and good luck!

Location: West LA
Compensation: $15/hr.
This is a part-time job.

When I lived in New York, the ex & I used to love to watch something called EL SHOW DE WALTER. Our Spanish was limited so the nearest thing we could deduce was that this was a sort of Mexican LIBERACE. So imagine my shock(some years later) when today I check out TMZ & there he (she?) is. WALTER! Looking not a day older & certainly not more subdued

Do You Know Who This Person Is?
Posted Apr 17th 2008 6:16PM by TMZ Staff
It's not Barbara Walters, designer Carolina Herrera or some Park Avenue society matron, but Spanish language television's resident flamboyant astrologer -- Walter Mercado! That's right, es un hombre! What's your, er, sign?!

The 76-year-old Puerto Rican sensation -- who is loved by every Hispanic grandmother from New York to L.A. for his horoscopes & flawess makeup -- is currently appearing on VH1's camptastic telenovela reality show, "¡Viva Hollywood!" Oh my stars!

Bobby Trendy, meet your long lost, lip-glossed Latin abuelita!

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Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Mischief Night

Yes, I am still dealing with the snail/slug problem. I wish I was DR. DOOLITTLE so I could sail away in the shell of one of these fuc****!

So here's a challenge for TheGayGardener if ever there was one:

Last July, teens created a 60-foot "sculpture" on the lawn of the Governor's Mansion in Boise, Idaho, with weed killer and workers have not found a way to take care of it:

"The area was recently replanted with grass seedlings and covered with straw. A previous attempt by landscapers to obliterate the image only enhanced it with a dark green outline, after which it was covered with a bright blue tarpaulin for several weeks. 'Humor is humor, and people can laugh and we move on,' Rick Phillips, communications director for J.R. Simplot Co., told the Idaho Statesman. The grassy graffiti appeared in July after someone applied extra-strength weed killer. Officials said at the time it was too late in the growing season to attempt to remove the image. Snow hid the oversized phallus over the winter, but when it emerged again in the spring some neighbors had had enough....The affected part of the hillside belongs to Simplot, an agricultural conglomerate which donated the hilltop mansion to the state in 2004. The mansion is currently unoccupied because Gov. C.L. 'Butch' Otter lives on his ranch in Star." {Courtesy of ANDY TOWLE/towleroad}

Oh & I got some new STATIONERY!

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Monday, April 14, 2008

Snips & Snails

Check out the above YouTube Video. An hilarious TAB Commercial from the '70s. "You've come a long way baby!" oops that was "Virginia Slims" Cigarettes

Ugh! Just came in from my garden. I plucked 27 snails out of my front flower beds! I hate these little fuc**** What purpose do they serve?
Sure some puff pastry delicacy only a Frenchman could eat. But they are so damn destructive. You all remember my trick for killing them where you lure them into a container placed in the ground & filled with beer (they love it!) And they drown in it. But you have to keep refilling the beer & plucking out their bloated shells-disgusting! I'm trying one of those pet friendly "snail bait" pellets now. I'l let you know if it works.

Christ I almost had a heart attack when I read the tonight's headline: "STRONG CA. QUAKE PREDICTED" Yep they're predicting another "big one" (not the good kind!) for....wait for it....2037! You got it. Nearly 30 years from now. Should we start stock-piling canned goods & non-perishables now?? I still have batteries left over from Y2K (remember that? of course you don't) USC is predicting a quake larger than the Northridge quake in 1994 which was a 6.7 on the Richter Scale. How much did this study cost? Any Angeleno could have told you that "yea the odds of another big quake are pretty high over the next three DECADES!"

This Press Release just sent out over the wire to all Bloggers & Journalists from the CLINTON CAMPAIGN:

Hillary's Fond Pennsylvania Memories

You know, shortly after I helped my Dad build that log cabin in Scranton, PA with my own, bare, 12 year-old hands; I had a life altering experience! We had just finished a delicious lunch of TYSON Prepared Chicken (which I had created the recipe for & for which Tyson in their gratitude, made me a member of their Corporate Board!) when my Dad decided to teach me how to shoot the new rifle I had just purchased at WAL-MART (for which, in gratitude, THEY appointed me to their Corporate Board!)

Fueled by our traditional meal ender of a "shot & a beer" I picked up the gun & shot myself in the foot!!
My Dad then rushed me to the corner hospital. Being my practical 12 year old self, I was anxious about how we would pay for the medical treatment. My Dad told me not to worry because as a regular "working man" he had something called HEALTH INSURANCE (you bitter, younger listeners won't recall what that was) I was so happy to hear this, that I then vowed to help all the big Health Insurance companies in any way I could! (and for which, in gratitude, can you believe THEY appointed me to their Corporate Boards?!) I then converted to CATHOLICISM so that I could go to Church EVERY Sunday & because I thought it would help me if I ever returned to PA! And here I am!

*****I'm Hillary Clinton & that's my story & I'm Sticking to it!******

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Thursday, April 10, 2008

On Target...

You guys know how much I love TARGET! So much style & great design for so little!

Check out this adorable "daisy" watering can made of reinforced felt. Place a smalll glass or jar inside & fill with flowers or a plant and you have a fabulous "hostess gift" Or use as party favors for a shower or garden party or gift bags for your v.i.p. event! 99 Cents!!! Such a bargain!

And how about these sweet little painted terra cotta flower pots filled with citronella candles (also under $1) Sure beats those ugly glass ones in that weird mesh netting or (God Forbid!) those heinous Bug Zappers!

AND... if you subscribe to VANITY FAIR (which I wouldn't blame you if you didn't it gets worse every month!***) TARGET has enclosed this adorable re-usable nylon shopping bag; doing their part for the environment

I know, I know, this whole post is like a commercial. Let's just say its's a "Dedicated" email.

*** But DO check out this month;s issue if only for the wonderful article on DORIS DAY plus some really really terrific photos of Doris, the original Little Miss Sunshine!

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Wednesday, April 09, 2008



So OUT Magazine has published it's annual POWER 50 list of the most powerful gays in the culture.(hat tip: ANDY TOWLE, towleroad) I just missed making the list. I am sure I was 52 or 53!:)
Here's the list

50. Kelly Bush
49. Benny Medina
48. Brian Swardstrom
47. Susan Arnold
46. Martina Navratilova
45. Jonathan Burnham
44. Bob Greenblatt
43. Adam Rose
42. Bryan Lourd
41. Carolyn Strauss
40. Christine Vachon
39. Jon Stryker
38. Lorri L. Jean
37. Simon Halls & Stephen Huvane
36. Annie Leibovitz
35. Randy Lovely
34. Craig Zadan & Neil Meron
33. Jim Nelson
32. Jeremy Bernard & Rufus Gifford
31. Rosie O'Donnell
30. Sheila Kuehl
29. Adam Moss
28. Tim Gunn
27. Jasper Johns
26. Fred Hochberg
25. Tom Ford
24. Suze Orman
23. Anthony Romero
22. Nick Denton
21. Nate Berkus
20. Andrew Sullivan
19. Greg Berlanti
18. Christine Quinn
17. Martha Nelson
16. Perez Hilton
15. Brian Graden
14. Rich Ross
13. Jodie Foster
12. The New York Times Gay Mafia
11. Scott Rudin
10. Peter Thiel
9. Marc Jacobs
8. Joe Solmonese
7. Jann Wenner
6. Andrew Tobias
5. Tim Gill
4. David Geffen
3. Barney Frank
2. Anderson Coper
1. Ellen Degeneris

A few quibbles (beside my absence)

* Some of these folks are not even officially OUT! (Jodie Foster, Anderson Cooper)

** The cover is great! I think GREG BERLANTI (#19) looks fabulous & I do think he is a GENIUS! (Did I mention I think DIRTY, SEXY, MONEY is brilliant & BROTHERS & SISTERS is fantastic?) BILLY BALDWIN, DAVE ANNABELLE & MATTHEW RHYS are all stars of Berlanti shows & they all look HOT, but the way this is photographed deceptively makes it seems as if they are all part of the gay POWER 50 list!
P.S. Are all sexy British men required to have RHYS in their names??

And Congrats to PEREZ HILTON (#16) The Wall Street Journal announced this morning that Perez has a new deal for a nationwide radio show! Plus many other pending deals. I think he'll be terrific. Even though I still think its sad that he had to take a lie detector test to prove that someone (JM ) kissed him.

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Monday, April 07, 2008

"Bumpy Night"


HAPPY BIRTHDAY BETTE DAVIS!!! The greatest screen actress of all time would have turned 100 today!

I'll toast the diva with two of my favorite quotes:

"Regina" in "THE LITTLE FOXES"


How to Hide a "Lifeguard"






Over-exposed, pool side flower beds. Busy owner (renter) with small budget. Wants low maintenance with a splash of color.
Would like to "disguise" LIFEGUARD sign. Subject to rules & regulations of building owner/manager.


1. To keep costs down, use as much existing material as possible. Save & replant any usable existing plants/shrubs. Re-use & realign landscape rocks. Place jade & geraniums where they can branch out.
2. Use of drought tolerant succulents (jade,"chicks& hens")
3. One tall trellis painted to match building trim. One star jasmine vine placed at base of trellis. One pink jasmine placed at base of stair railing. These are fast growing & hearty and will be climbing up that wall to obscure the LIFEGUARD in no time. This is a Work in Progress!
4. One flat of perennials to fill in with color. Can be cheaply replaced per season. (primrose used here)
5: COST: $130
6 VALUE: Prettier view from window: PRICELESS!

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"Stirred, not Shaken!"


did you all see this ad & the resulting bru-ha-ha?

ABSOLUT vodka ran this ad only in Mexico, showing a pre Mexican American War map that has the whole Amercian Southwest as part of Mexico (which it WAS at one time but the Mexcicnas called it Baja California) The U.S. took it from Mexico, Mexico took it from the Spanish, the Spanish took it from the Native Americans who are now getting their revenge by putting up hundreds of Casinos throughout the area!!! (hee-hee)

ABSOLUT has actually given much to art & to culture (not to mention A.A.) & they were at the forefront of the corporate fight against AIDS, so I'm going to give them a pass. They've apologized & pulled the ad. This won't likely be enough for some of the more hateful denizens of the web who've been screaming for a boycott, but nothing is ever usually enough for these types.


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Sunday, April 06, 2008

Holy Gay Garden Gnomes!!!

The Gayest Garden Gnome


I love this little guy! Purchased at my favorite boutique...The 99 Cents Store.
The Gayest Garden Gnome:Kelly Green hat, pale pink belted jacket & Tiffany blue pants tucked into brown work boots!
He could do with a waxing though!

One of my all time favorite garden plants is the kalanchoe! Lush,dark, succulent green leaves & tiny flowers in a rainbow of colors.
They need very little attention & are quite tolerant of neglect (No that any of YOU would neglect them!) This is the beginning of their flowering season & it's quite the show! This little baby is the hi-light of my garden wall!

Thank God THE TUDORS has begun again. I just watched the premiere & the second episode back to back! After the bitter disappointment of THE OTHER BOLEYN GIRL , I was so happy to be back in (not) so Merry ole' England. JONATHAN RHYS MEYERS is still riveting, HENRY CAVILL still hot (hotter even!) MARIA DOYLE KENNEDY still heartbreaking & yippie! that crazy sexy King of France is back too. JRM actually even looks different this season. Older, less happy, more conflicted as befits a crazy-in-love-mad-with-lust King, about to sunder his Kingdom. Way to go Showtime!

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Saturday, April 05, 2008

"Moses, Moses, who is this Moses?"


So said, ANN BAXTER (All About Eve) in the classic, CECILE B DEMILLE's THE TEN COMMANDMENTS
Charlton (Moses) Heston died today.
After BEN HUR, EL CID, & the aforementioned Ten Commandments, Mr Heston became best known as a spokesman for the NRA
Heston was an icon. But like most icons he lived long enough to become a parody of himself.
It reminds me of the old Hollywood bromide:
:"Who is Charlton Heston?"
"Get me Charlton Heston!"
"Get me a young Charlton Heston!"
"Who is Charlton Heston!"

R.I.P. Moses!!

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Back In The Saddle!




Sorry for the long silence but my damn back is still “out” (unlike most Hollywood celebs!) I’m in less pain but still damn uncomfortable. Christ is there anything more boring than a discussion of one’s health!?

It’s been three weeks now. I miss my clients, I miss Saturday mornings at the nurseries, I miss getting my hands dirty. It’s Spring; a hell of a time for a gardener to be side-lined, but what can I do? I do think time is a great healer, so I’ll just keep biding mine!

On the way to the acupuncture guy (!!) I drove through Beverly Hills. You may recall I spent 7 years working for that cosmetics company there. Beverly Hills is the most well known “small town” in the U.S. Even long time residents refer to it as “Mayberry”. The town fathers have gone a long way in the past decade to “branding” the city. When I first moved here, the beautiful fountain at Wilshire & Santa Monica Blvd was in disrepair & not even working. It works now. And all thru the city there are many art installations & sculptures, some more successful than others. I like the one above. If I cannot be among real flowers than I’ll take 6 feet painted iron fake ones instead.

Speaking of fake…oh, maybe not. But my favorite new scandal sweeping “the internets” is the story of celebrity blogger, PEREZ HILTON & his “affair” with singer JOHN MAYER!! It’s in all the “rags” & tabloids. This is from US MAGAZINE:

Does John Mayer swing both ways?

Yes, says celeb blogger Perez Hilton, who hit the airwaves Thursday morning to detail an alleged recent make-out he had with the singer (one of Us' Cads of the Year).

"He is definitely bi," Hilton declared on Ryan Seacrest's KIIS-FM radio show, adding that Mayer is "struggling with his sexuality."

Of their liplock at NYC club Stereo last year, Hilton said, "He kissed me, and I kissed him back. It was on the mouth with tongue.

"I thought he was messing with me," Hilton went on. "Then he kept going and going."

Hilton claims Jessica Simpson — Mayer's girlfriend at the time — didn't mind.

"While John Mayer and I are making out, she is rubbing his crotch," Hilton recalled.

Mayer's rep tells, "This is all so ridiculous." Simpson's rep had no comment.

Hilton insisted, "It's 100% true."

INTOUCH had the story too(with the above photo) This is just so rich. I like Perez. He was even nice enough to run a photo of me with my friend Jen. I’ve seen him out & about a few times. Usually always noticeable with his pink or blue hair. And I believe this story. How freaky though that J.S. was just watching or rather attempting to participate in some way. Yike. Perez even managed to milk this for a bit longer by taking a lie detector test sponsored by US Magazine. Which he passed.

Helpful hint of the day: Hey, you want to lose weight? STOP EATING IN THE CAR! L.A. is a car culture & sometimes it just can’t be helped but I’ve been noticing lately that a whole lot of people are eating while driving (Slightly less dangerous than the other L.A. pastime, TEXTING while driving!) But you know what? The folks who are eating behind the wheel are ALWAYS eating fast food or candy bars or giant mocha-latte-chai-with-a-boost-and-scone-on-the-side thingies. And 90% of the time I realize these folks are on the “heftier” side. Look at the skinny drivers: NO FOOD! They’re just chugging back huge bottles of designer water with so much gusto its like they’ve just returned from the GOBI. There’s definitely some connection here. I’m even going to try the no-eating-while-driving plan myself & see if I lose a few pounds.

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