Changing The World One Pansy At A Time!

Tuesday, March 27, 2007


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I really do have to hand it to that HEATHER MILLS MCCARTNEY!
She’s proven herself quite the game girl & dancer on ABC’s DANCING WITH THE STARS. That back flip she did tonight was amazing! I know many cynics are watching the ratings block-buster, betting on whether or not her artificial leg will come off but dammit she’s good! Maybe the reports that Heather has finally settled with her estranged husband SIR PAUL, for something like $55 Million for 5 years work has given the girl some confidence. I have to say this show is addictive. I’m in love (in a gay kind of way) with LAILA ALI! The former professional boxer & daughter of legend, MOHAMMED ALI, is so damn sexy! And a fabulous dancer! Oh… and memo to BILLY RAY CYRUS, KEITH URBAN called! He wants his look back!

I’m reporting this in the hope that it’s still early enough to be stopped:

Michael Jackson is in discussions about creating a 50-foot robotic replica of himself to roam the Las Vegas desert, according to reports.
The pop legend is currently understood to be living in the city, as he considers making a comeback after 2004's turbulent child sex case.
It has now been claimed that his plans include an elaborate show in Vegas, which would feature the giant Jacko striding around the desert, firing laser beams.
If built, the metal monster would apparently be visible to aircraft as they come in to land in the casino capital.
It is the centerpiece of an elaborate Jackson-inspired show in Vegas, according to Andre Van Pier, the robot's designer.
Luckman Van Pier, his partner at the company behind the proposal, claims blueprints have been drawn up for the show and seen by the star.
"Michael's looked at the sketches and likes them," he told the New York Daily News.
On the subject of the robot, he continued: "It would be in the desert sands. Laser beams would shoot out of it so it would be the first thing people flying in would see."

One of my favorite things about DEFAMER is it's section called Hollywood Privacy Watch. Sort of a “Star Sightings” thing, where people write in where & when (usually in Los Angeles) they’ve seen celebrities. Two entries from this weeks’s HPW Edition:

3/25, 4 pm. Saw Jonathan Rhys-Myers in his black Audi [A6 or A8] making a left onto Genessee from Hollywood Blvd. Made eye contact when making his left turn; hypnotic stare { Since I LIVE on Genesee Avenue I can only assume JRM was on his way to see me! Jonathan! Stop Stalking Me!}

Saturday, 3/23 - Kirstie Alley spotted at the WeHo Target at the intersection of La Brea and Santa Monica. She was in the bedding section with some woman who appeared to her assistant. She looked so-so. {God! I Love This Town!}


“If BILL CLINTON were any more low-rent, He’d be a Spring Break Destination!” – DENNIS MILLER

Sunday, March 25, 2007

Ode To Virgie Arthur

Maybe it’s because I think I know her. Likely it’s because she reminds me of every woman I knew growing up. Tired, hard-working, washed out, dish-water blondes, grown familiar with disappointment. But Virgie moves me. The sight of her in The Bahamas struck a chord in me. Virgie, with her 2 piece, short sleeve, black ensemble (Skirt with elasticized waist, I’m sure)and sensible flat shoes, maniacally shoveling dirt on her dead daughter’s grave. Bitter, resentful, frustrated, Virgie, burying the best of her, before her time! Knowing that the only luck she ever had in life was having a daughter who won the genetic lottery & turned out to be as gorgeous as her beloved VICKIE LYNN; later ANNA NICOLE SMITH (is it a Southern thing to have Two First Names??) You know what? Maybe Virgie wasn’t Mother of The Year. Maybe once Anna Nicole became a household name she hit little Vickie Lynn up for some cash…who knows. But I’ll tell you something, NO MOTHER deserves to be BOOED at her daughter’s funeral, unless she’s
And this little Lady from Texas makes a very cogent argument when she says: “I had a daughter AND I had a grandson…and they’re BOTH DEAD!” “And Howard K. Stern was there when they both died!” So I really don’t think that Virgie is fighting for little motherless DANNIELYNN for the MARSHALL MILLIONS. I think she’d like to have a role in the little girl’s life, as any Grandmother would. And I hope DannieLynn’s father, LARRY BIRKHEAD, will give her one. TMZ is reporting that the BAHAMIAN Attorneys VIRGIE hired; are now suing her for non-payment of services! It seems that in the 4 weeks since she hired them to fail to bring her daughter home to TEXAS, she didn’t pay them any money! I “T.Y.W.” (I’ll tell you what, as they say in The South!) STIFF ‘EM VIRGIE… and go on home! That Birkhead kid seems like a nice guy…he’ll bring little DannieLynn by to see you!
God Bless you darlin’

Friday, March 23, 2007

Gardens For The Gambia

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Gardening can be so rewarding…plants some seeds in some dirt & viola! beautiful flowers! Sometimes returning year after year! Celebrities & their personal foibles are so much fun to watch & comment on. But I’d like to introduce you to a remarkable woman who has managed to combine a celebrated literary reputation with gardening for the good of the planet! Her name is PHILLIPA GREGORY. She is the marvelous author of the best-sellingTHE OTHER BOLEYN GIRL and THE BOLEYN INHERITANCE. These novels are akin to witnessing the historic reign of HENRY VIII through eye-witness accounts. And what could be more timely what with the SHOWTIME Presentation of THE TUDORS starring that “lush-lipped” Irish dreamboat, JONATHON RHYS MEYERS???

Ms. Gregory has enjoyed all of the benefits of being a well known successful author of historic fiction, and what does she choose to do with that success??? Why give back, of course! Through her marvelous program called GARDENS FOR THE GAMBIA

From Ms. Gregory’s Website:

The charity was established in 1993 and has now dug 56 wells which are on stream and providing water to irrigate school gardens. In the school gardens the children learn the skills of sustainable agriculture. The vegetables they grow provide school dinner for the poorest children in school who would otherwise have nothing to eat all day, the surplus produce is sold and stationary and educational equipment is bought with the profit

How beautifully simple! The charity supplies the funds for the well, which irrigates the gardens, which results in the crops, Which feeds the poor, whose leftovers are sold for profit to benefit the same group!

So can we all resolve to support Ms. Gregory by buying and reading her novels, so that she in turn can take the profits & build more Gardens For The Gambia!?? Plus once you read one of her novels you will be hooked for life!

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Buenos Noches!

Miss me??? I’ve just returned from a lovely trip to Playa del Carmen Mexico! This place is gorgeous. We stayed at a terrific hotel called, LAS PALAPAS (thatch umbrella) And TheGayGardener was in heaven with all the lovely flora & foliage. Here’s a link to the Hotel:

Playa del Carmen

I know we have a lot of makeup homework to do but damn, I’m tired!
And there is so much to cover: Tori’s new baby: “Liam” AND her new reality show. Britney graduating from re-hab, Brad & Angelina’s new edition, “Pax” (Latin for peace) “Dancing With The Stars” biggest premiere yet (perhaps thanks to “that crazy one-legged hooker; Heather Mills McCartney, whose pink & yellow dress, with opera gloves, no less, was the worst costume I’ve ever seen on T.V.) and the new found stardom of the “crying girl” on American Idol. The little blonde who was reduced to tears hearing the truly awful stylings of Sanjaya Malakar. She’ll probably get her own show & I can’t even get an audition on NBC’s “To Catch A Predator”!!

Let’s talk tomorrow!

Monday, March 05, 2007

Ann Coulter Is A Horse-Faced Bitch

Bad enough when the conservative commentator called the widows of 9/11 “witches” who “enjoyed & profited from their husband’s deaths”…worse still when she therorized on national platforms that Bill Clinton was clearly gay due to his “bath-house promiscuity” Now the “pin-up girl” for the right-wing, ANN COULTER ,has called Presidential candidate JOHN EDWARDS, a ‘faggot” at the annual Conservative Coven held over the weekend. Not only did these people pay this “woman” (can she prove she is actually female? human? Have you seen her?) But they laughed, hooted & applauded! This morning comes some mild denunciations from the Republican Presidential candidates, McCain, Giuliani, ugh!
Here is Coulter’s response to the furor created by her comments:

“I’m so ashamed, I can’t stop laughing.” “C’mon it was a joke. “I would never insult gays by comparing them to John Edwards.” “That would be mean.”

I think it’s God’s joke that this skank’s name is a sort of homophone (pun intended) for a male horse!
Watch her in action yourself:

Thursday, March 01, 2007


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Have you all heard of the new “rage” “THE SECRET”? It’s a book & dvd that have been profiled on OPRAH, The TODAY SHOW & CNN & is selling like hot cakes! THE SECRET will teach you how to get everything you want out of life: money, success, love, happiness… it will allegedly cure you from cancer & bring you eternal youth! And you want to know what the Secret is?? Ta-Da: Think Good Thoughts!
Just imagine the you that you want to be & viola, you ARE! HELLLOOOOO? Go to the website & check it out

The Secret

Here you will learn of all the famous(??) folks who knew the secret benefited from the knowledge:

Included are; 'Miracle Man' Morris Goodman, who tells his awe inspiring story of how he recovered from paralysis by using The Secret. Dr. Denis Waitley, who used various aspects of The Secret in training Olympic athletes and Apollo astronauts to reach new heights of human endeavour. Best selling authors and philosophers including Bob Proctor, John Assaraf, James Ray and Joe Vitale, explain how they have created lives of phenomenal success utilising The Secret. Doctors in the fields of medicine and quantum physics explain the science behind The Secret.

As my friend JULIE HALSTON says: “Of course THE SECRET” is a huge bestseller! It’s PILOT SEASON in LOS ANGELES and everyone’s Desperate!”

HAPPY 75th Birthday to ELIZABETH TAYLOR! Who celebrated with a shin-dig in Las Vegas. Liz’s bash included guests, KATHY IRELAND, DEBBIE REYNOLDS, CARRIE FISHER, & SIEGFRIED & ROY (that was fun to type!) God Bless you Liz!

Have you seen this video of RUDY GIULIANI in DRAG?? Methinks the “lady” is enjoying this a little too much! A “tranny” in the White House?? Too fabulous! The only real “drag” is Rudy’s co-star in the video, DONALD TRUMP.

Is JAMES CAMERON really this bored or broke (???) that he’s hawking this “Jesus’-Bones-In-A-Box” crapola??


“So TITANIC Director JAMES CAMERON claims he has found the bones of Jesus Christ! I really hope this doesn’t lead to a court battle in Florida!”

“I can’t believe they found JESUS before BIN LADEN!”

Frequent Joke seen on the internet:

“Cancel Easter…they found the body!”