Changing The World One Pansy At A Time!

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Blimps, Bitches & Birthdays

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When I was growing up, one of the most magical things that could happen was if The Good Year Blimp happened to sail into your neighborhood. It was like seeing a spaceship from Mars. The other evening I was working at my desk & heard a familiar “whirr” I went outside & looked up & there she was! I felt like I was 10 years old again…silly, I know, but true

I am loathe to admit this, but I’m afraid I am quite enthralled with PARIS HILTON again. Seeing her emerge from prison early this morning ,I thought, wow! She looks great & somehow changed!
She seemed sweet & shy (??) and vulnerable. Less makeup, less faux hair, less fake tan…just… less, & yet so much more! And if all these stupid so-called “news” organizations want to pay her millions of dollars for an interview, she’d be stupid not to take it. Although every “respectable” network is now distancing themselves from having desperately sought the big Paris “get” including Barbara Walters & The Today Show which at one point was offering 1 Million Dollars.

This Monday, July 1st would have been Diana, Princess of Wales’ 46th Birthday. And August will mark the 10 Anniversary of her death.
I’ve just finished Tina Brown’s The Diana Chronicles. I highly recommend the book. Though it covers much that we think we know there are quite a number of new details. All of which leave an overall impression of waste & sadness; that this was an extraordinary woman who was only just beginning to put many of her demons behind her & re-emerge on the world stage in a grand & deep way that would have been fascinating to watch. One very sad anecdote has Diana upset at the thought of losing her Royal title of HRH. Her young son, Prince William consoles her by saying, “Don’t worry Mummy, I’ll give it back to you when I am King!” I’d forgotten what a bitchy writer the former editor of Vanity Fair could be. And Ms. Browne seldom misses an opportunity to inject herself into the Diana story but she had & has what is still an extremely valuable assest: ACCESS! Her rolodex is crammed with celebrated names who are guaranteed to return her calls.

Princess Diana's Birthday Cake
Recipe #84781

4 ratings
This recipe appeared in the February 1988 issue of Woman's Day magazine and was reprinted in our local paper today. According to the article, "Diana had a special fondness for this cake because it was served at her childhood birthday parties." The baked layers can be wrapped and refrigerated up to three days or frozen up to three months. Unwrap and bring to room temperature before assembling. Completed cake can be refrigerated up to four hours before serving

For the cake
6 large eggs

1 1/2 cups granulated sugar

1/3 cup water

1 teaspoon vanilla

1 1/3 cups all-purpose flour, mixed with

1/2 teaspoon baking powder

For the filling
3 cups whipping cream
1 tablespoon vanilla

1/2 cup granulated sugar

3 pints strawberries, rinsed,hulled and sliced (about 12 ounces each, reserve some for garnish)
Not the one? See other Princess Diana's Birthday Cake Recipes
1. Preheat oven to 350F.
2. To make cake: Grease bottom and sides of two 8- or 9-inch round layer-cake pans.
3. Line bottoms with parchment or waxed paper; grease paper.
4. Add granulated sugar to each pan, tilt to coat bottom and sides; shake out excess.
5. Beat eggs in a large bowl with electric mixer on high speed until pale, about 1 minute.
6. Gradually add the 1 1/2 cups sugar, beating about 2 minutes (or more, as needed) until mixture is thick, tripled in volume and forms a slowly dissolving ribbon when beaters are lifted.
7. Working quickly, stir in water and vanilla.
8. Fold in flour mixture just until completely blended.
9. Pour into prepared pans.
10. Bake 30 to 35 minutes until tops are lightly browned and toothpick inserted near center comes out clean.
11. Cool in pans on rack 10 minutes.
12. Run thin-bladed knife between sides of pans and cakes to loosen.
13. Invert pans on rack; peel off paper and cool completely.
14. To make filling: Beat cream and vanilla in a large bowl with electric mixer until soft peaks form when beaters are lifted.
15. Gradually beat in sugar until cream is of spreading consistency.
16. To assemble: Slice each layer in half horizontally, using a long serrated knife.
17. Place one layer on serving plate, spread with 1 cup whipped cream, top with one-third of the sliced berries.
18. Repeat with two more layers.
19. Place remaining layer on top; spread remaining cream over sides and top.
20. Garnish with reserved berries.
21. Refrigerate until ready to serve.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Liberty, Equality, Fraternity!

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Say what you will about the French but they make excellent wine, delicious cheese & lovely Provincial furnishings. France has also produced an actress who gives one of the most amazing performances in the history of film. Her name is Marion Cotillard & the film is called LA VIE EN ROSE. The film itself is a bit of a melodramatic standard biopic, but the subject of the film, French Chanteuse, EDITH PIAF, led such a huge & hugely tragic life, that it would be almost impossible not to veer into melodrama. But Cottilard never has a dishonest moment. Piaf’s hair & hands & walk & gestures are all there. I have never seen scenes of a woman falling in & being in love, more truthfully performed than in this film. Of course it does help when the object of one’s affections is the very hunky Jean Pierre Martins! Piaf lived on such a large scale, at such a pivotal time in World history; becoming part of the actual fabric & heart of a culture, no film could capture all of the towering highs & staggering lows. I have long been an admirer of Piaf’s. We share the same Birthday (December 19th) & she died the year I was born. And I once worked in a French restaurant in New York where I heard “La Vie En Rose” played 100 times a day & never tired of it. I always thought of her as The French Judy Garland. But this film made me realize that Piaf’s life was indeed singular as is the majestic performance of Mime. Cottilard.

Speaking of Soap Operas, there’s a neat little one playing out in Los Angeles & recorded by The Los Angeles Times. Our City Attorney, a man with the robust name of ROCKY DELGADILLO, is the Top Lawyer for the City & heads the 3rd largest Municipal Law Office in the Country. According to The Times Problem Number one is that Mr. Delgadillo & his wife Michelle have been chronically late in paying 5 parking tickets. Big Deal, you say…and I agree. But here’s where it gets a bit trickier:

** IN 1998 Mrs. Delgadillo was charged with driving with an Expired, Out-of-State (Montana) Driver’s License, in a car with expired tags, & no proof of insurance! She was cited with a 3 count criminal offense. But actually failed to appear in court! Probably relying on the fact that she’d been busted while still driving under her maiden name. Despite the charges Mrs. Delgadillo still managed to obtain a California Driver’s License.

** In 2004 this same license was suspended because she “failed to provide proof of insurance” at the scene of an accident. (Again!) Because the simple fact is neither she NOR HER HUSBAND had auto insurance!!

**In 2007, Mrs. D’s license is again renewed (which should never have happened!) But according to The Times records revealed that she continued to drive during the intervening years not only the family’s SUV, but her husband’s city-owned Yukon, which she damaged in 2004 & which was repaired at the taxpayer’s expense. Although Mr.Delgadillo just got around to reimbursing the city for the $1,222 repair bill.

Still think Paris got off easy??? At least she was driving with valid tags on a registered car & with proof of insurance! And NEVER failed to appear in court. All of which Mrs. Delgadillo has failed to do on countless occasions.

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Clear Body Clear Mind

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And a damn dirty porch!!! Thanks to the Church (?) of Scientology.
Amongst the flyers for maid Services, tree removal & Chinese Take-Out menus, many of us Angelenos arrive home to find our mailboxes stuffed with the writings of L. Ron Hubbard. Well in my case not the mailbox, but my front porch. This inexplicably annoys me to no end.
I look around & see a young woman distributing these newspapers by hand. “Excuse me!” “yea?” she says. “Are you the one papering the block with those materials? I ask. “yea, why?” she wants to know. “Who pays you to do this” “ummm (unintelligible)” Are you a Scientologist?” I inquire. “yes!” she brightens. “why?” I say,”no sweetie, I’m not interested in converting thanks!” “I’m quite comfortable being gay” Zuma’s face clouds like she doesn’t get the reference. (Yes, her name was Zuma, as in beach, I asked) “Look, would you mind just putting this crap in the mailbox, & not all over the porch?” I plead. “What’s your address?” she demands” “Oh no you don’t!”…it doesn’t matter what my address is the whole damn block is covered with this crap!” Zuma then explains with a stiff dead smile that it is against Federal Laws for her to put her pamphlets in someone’s mailbox!
Christ on The Cross! Even their newspaper girls give me the willies!

ACCESS HOLLYWOOD has a big scoop!:

NEW YORK, NY (June 13, 2007) – Angelina Jolie rocked the shabby chic look at the New York premiere of “A Mighty Heart” on Wednesday night.
Did she show up wearing St. John, the label she’s the contracted face of?
Angie tells Access that the silk velvet dress she was sporting was from the vintage store Wasteland on Melrose Avenue in LA.

Now before everyone starts racing to WASTELAND, remember Angie has about 3 full time stylists whose full time job it is to scour the world looking for cool clothes. And more to the point this girl would look good in a burlap sack!

There’s a bank robber on the loose in Los Angeles. The thief has hit a number of banking institutions, the most recent in Newport Beach. He wears & hat & sunglasses but has a very distinct “odor” The bank teller victims all say he smells like DIRT! The police feel he may make a living as a gardener! So they’ve dubbed him, “The Landscaper Bandit” With my profit margins, bank robbing would seem a good idea, but trust me, it ain’t me! Plus “on camera” this dude looks like he weighs 300 lbs, & I only weigh…oh, right, like I was going to reveal my weight here!

Happy Flag Day Everybody!! Long may she wave!

“President Bush traveled to Albania (he actually thought he was going to Albany) where his watch was stolen right off his wrist as he shook hands with the crowd. That makes him the first President to be robbed since…well since AL GORE!” David Letterman

Monday, June 11, 2007

Bombs Away!

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Hmmm… PAGE SIX has gleaned some juicy items from an upcoming book by celebrity biographer, C. David Heyman. The book about John F.Kennedy Jr. is called AMERICAN LEGACY & it reveals some interesting tidbits:

Madonna & John never “did the deed” because the one time they were that-close; John didn’t have any protection.

Johnny liked the trannies!....... and made out with HOLLY WOODLAWN

The most salacious of all was John’s alleged confession of bisexuality! Kennedy allegedly confessed to more than one fling with a guy!! Damn!

I met him once in New York. 1988 maybe. I was working in a restaurant near Broadway. He was working for the Manhattan D.A. having recently successfully passed the N.Y. Bar Exam after multiple attempts. The place was staffed entirely by “chorus boys” like me. He walked in with a couple buddies. The place came to a stand-still. All the waiters were begging the maitre’d to seat him in their section. Not me! I was so intimidated by & enamored of him, I could not even look his way. I hid in the bar area. Sure enough, he comes over to the bar & asks the bartender to break a twenty. And he walked toward me. “Can I ask you something?”he says. “OhGod!Please don’t let him be talking to me!”I think.“Sure! I say out loud.
What’s with the music?” he asks. “Sorry?” I say. “Can you play something else?” he asks. OK, Now I’m annoyed! Yea. Alright! He is drop dead gorgeous, built, masculine, handsome, smart, well dressed; his freaking mother is JACKIE O! He’s J.F.K. JR.!!! But as I go on to explain to my new friend, John: “Ummm, yea well, It’s CHER!!!!It’s HEART OF STONE! It’s the number one album in the country & you’re in a restaurant in The Theatre District!!! Helloo??? {But please still make out with me or let me play touch football with you in Central Park with your shirt off & then let’s meet your Mother for lunch at Lutece!!!!!!} Small smirk (grin?) from John-John who as he walks away says with a shrug, “Well it’s your restaurant!” Yea, that went well! So bi? Maybe. But anyone who doesn’t like CHER is definitely NOT Gay!!

Wonder why things are so messed up in Iraq & other places? Here’s another reason. The geniuses in the Defense Department have attempted to invent a “gay bomb” that when launched, would make the enemy “TURN GAY” & prefer to have sex with their fellow soldiers rather than shoot !! I wish to high heaven I was making this up, but alas, it’s true. Hank Plante Reporting:

(CBS 5) BERKELEY A Berkeley watchdog organization that tracks military spending said it uncovered a strange U.S. military proposal to create a hormone bomb that could purportedly turn enemy soldiers into homosexuals and make them more interested in sex than fighting.

Pentagon officials on Friday confirmed to CBS 5 that military leaders had considered, and then subsequently rejected, building the so-called "Gay Bomb."
Edward Hammond, of Berkeley's Sunshine Project, had used the Freedom of Information Act to obtain a copy of the proposal from the Air Force's Wright Laboratory in Dayton, Ohio.

As part of a military effort to develop non-lethal weapons, the proposal suggested, "One distasteful but completely non-lethal example would be strong aphrodisiacs, especially if the chemical also caused homosexual behavior."

The documents show the Air Force lab asked for $7.5 million to develop such a chemical weapon.

"The Ohio Air Force lab proposed that a bomb be developed that contained a chemical that would cause enemy soldiers to become gay, and to have their units break down because all their soldiers became irresistibly attractive to one another," Hammond said after reviewing the documents.

"The notion was that a chemical that would probably be pleasant in the human body in low quantities could be identified, and by virtue of either breathing or having their skin exposed to this chemical, the notion was that soldiers would become gay," explained Hammond.

The Pentagon told CBS 5 that the proposal was made by the Air Force in 1994.

"The Department of Defense is committed to identifying, researching and developing non-lethal weapons that will support our men and women in uniform," said a DOD spokesperson, who indicated that the "gay bomb" idea was quickly dismissed.

However, Hammond said the government records he obtained suggest the military gave the plan much stronger consideration than it has acknowledged.

"The truth of the matter is it would have never come to my attention if it was dismissed at the time it was proposed," he said. "In fact, the Pentagon has used it repeatedly and subsequently in an effort to promote non-lethal weapons, and in fact they submitted it to the highest scientific review body in the country for them to consider."

Military officials insisted Friday to CBS 5 that they are not currently working on any such idea and that the past plan was abandoned.

Gay community leaders in California said Friday that they found the notion of a "gay bomb" both offensive and almost laughable at the same time.

"Throughout history we have had so many brave men and women who are gay and lesbian serving the military with distinction," said Geoff Kors of Equality California. "So, it's just offensive that they think by turning people gay that the other military would be incapable of doing their job. And it’s absurd because there's so much medical data that shows that sexual orientation is immutable and cannot be changed."

Actually General, there is a chemical that can be “pleasant in the body in low quantities” & cause people to be “irrestibly attractive to one another”…it’s called VODKA!!!!

No wonder these idiots think “Don’t ask, don’t tell” is a good idea!

Sunday, June 10, 2007

"Woke Up This Morning & Got Myself a Gun!"

Oh, if only I had, then I could have shot myself & been spared watching THE SOPRANOS finale! One of the worst endings to one of the greatest TV shows ever.

From The Los Angeles Times:

The Sopranos” decided to fool millions of Americans into believing their cable had gone out for possibly the most important moment in the history of televised drama.
The final scene of the final episode of “The Sopranos” had all the elements of traditional climax down to the benign plate of onion rings Tony “ordered for the table.” As the Soprano family gathered in a diner, the light was mellow, the talk was mundane and Tony (James Gandolfini) kept one eye on the door, watching any number of possible assassins or smug federal agents as they poured sugar in their coffee or visited the men’s room (possibly to retrieve, à la “The Godfather,” their weapons cache). Then, just as Meadow (Jamie-Lynn Sigler) joined the group, and the tension became virtually unbearable — szzzz. Blank screen.
For several agonizing moments, America was united ... in uttering every profanity known to man as millions of hands reached for millions of remotes, while partners and friends yelled, “No, no, don’t touch it!”
Then, silently, the credits began to roll and somewhere Chase was, no doubt, having a pretty good laugh.

Whaaaaaat? This is funny? Christ!

It was good to see Uncle Junior, & Aida Tuturro had her usual fine moments & the Phil whacking was cool, but was it the best idea to feature the show’s least interesting character (A.J.) played by the show’s least talented actor, Robert Iler??? I mean A.J. had like what 30 minutes of screen time?
He’s joining the army, he blows up his suv, he’s taking Arabic lessons? Now he’s a film producer?? WHO CARES?????????

The dramatic posibilites of an Italian funeral! Janice wailing in the front pew, Bobby laid out in splendor surrounded by obnoxious floral tributes , all the goons paying their respects, but what do we get? Yep! Another AJ soliloquy. Christ!
I feel like a hooker who just took a bad check. Maybe Mr. Chase was making some artistic statement. As the saying goes, “I don’t know much about art, but I know what I like”…this wasn’t it!

Friday, June 08, 2007

Apocalypse Now

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What I so love about all this is the following:

A pretty, (pretty! Not beautiful!!) California blonde, of doubtful intellectual capability & NO discernable talents, except that of self-promotion (I mean even Madonna can sing if properly engineered in studio) can capture world-wide attention due to a traffic misdemeanor! As Paris was taken to court this morning in a Los Angeles County Sherriff’s Department patrol car, allegedly in tears (I Believe it!){Photo from TMZ} I thought…

Dry your eyes little Paris! You, who have extended your Warholian 15 famous minutes beyond what anyone would have guessed possible, have entered the stratosphere! You are now, officially, a LEGEND!! I doubt there will be mentions of you in any serious history books, but when the accounts of this Post 9/11, Iraqi quagmire culture are written; there will HAVE to be some mention of you! Instead of First Lady, maybe you are our FIRST DISTRACTION. As our obsession with sports, particularly baseball, has waned for various reasons, you, in a strange way, have filled that breech! You are now AMERICA’s REAL NATIONAL PASTTIME! Like a nation of “looky-loos” at a horrific auto accident, we WANT to look away, to deny the reality, but we cannot help ourselves!!

The good thing, I think, is that there seems to be some promise of redemption in you! So many of your “peers” have fallen into drug-induced pits of pity & self-sabotage. Those anorexic, boozey, coke- whores, who pass out in public & shave their heads; they who are the real train wrecks of this culture. Maybe the difference is talent. It really is a curse.

There appears about you, an air of positive self-esteem & I don’t know…inevitability. That no matter what…”WE’ll ALWAYS Have Paris!!”

I hope that’s true! And I hope that after this you will learn to use your “gifts”, such as they are, for “good & NOT Evil!”

Blow your nose; attend to that “rash” & serve the whole 40-whatever days are left to your sentence. Trust me.

More Fan Appreciation:
I still do admire WALL STREET JOURNAL columnist, PEGGY NOONAN. I have agreed with very few of her pieces in recent years (with the notable exception of our shared deep appreciation for the Giant that was John Paul II)
Like many, I first heard of Noonan when she wrote the famous Reagan Challenger Speech (they “have slipped the surly bonds of Earth, to touch the Face of God”) & found her book: “What I Saw At The Revolution” fascinating!
Nothing can take away Ms. Noonan’s poetic gifts & her keen ability to craft a well written sentence. I think her recent appreciation of THE SOPRANOS is no exception:

Tony became a new and instantly recognizable icon, and his character adds to American myth, to America's understanding of itself. It's a big thing to create such a character, and not only one but a whole family of them--Uncle Junior, Christopher, Carmella. This is David Chase's great achievement, to have created characters that are instantly recognizable, utterly original, and that add to America's understanding of itself. And to have created, too, some of the most horrifying moments in all of television history, and one that I think is a contender for Most Horrifying Moment Ever. That would be Adriana desperately crawling--crawling!--through the leaves in the woods as she tries to flee her lovable old friend Silvio, who is about to brutally put her down

Read the whole piece:

Peggy Noonan & Tony Soprano

The Sporanos ends Sunday! Paris is Back in Jail! The Homophobic Chairman of The Joint Chiefs is fired! Isaiah Washington is Fired! And Bush May Be Drinking Again!!
(Hell! I Don’t blame him!) Could this be the END OF THE WORLD!??

"Great Day In The Morning!"

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TV GUIDE is breaking the story that Grey’s Anatomy star, Isaiah Washington has been fired! Or as they say in TV Land, his contract is not being picked up. You’d think that given how I’ve railed against this man, I’d be happy, but I’m just sad. I’m relieved that ABC Executives have basically said that hate is unacceptable in the workplace. That somebody in power has determined that this is a serious matter (despite show creator, Shonda Rhimes laughing about it at The Golden Globes) I am gratified that a major TV Network thinks this whole incident does not reflect well on them; despite the hypocrisy of a Civil Rights Organization, the NAACP giving Washington an “Image Award” 3 Months ago. I do have a sense of justice being served now that Washington joins DON IMUS in the fired-due-to-hate>-speech Hall of Fame. But overwhelmingly, I just feel a sadness that an evidently very fine actor, after years of (I presume) struggling, finally hits “the Mother lode” and lands a well-received , big hit, high- profile, series which has & will run for years, and through some seriously disturbed flaw, publicly self-destructs & blows it.To further prove the point, upon hearing the news Washington allegedly uttered the famous Peter Finch in NETWORK's line: "I'm as mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore!" huh???
On a lighter note:

I’m always relieved when my girl, MARTHA STEWART, drops the just-plain-folks routine & returns to her DOWAGER EMPRESS ways!
PAGE SIX reports the following:

A DRIVER for Martha Stewart was arrested on Tuesday, but the exact circumstances are a bit murky. After Stewart left her Bedford home early to make an appearance on "The View," she noticed on the ride into town that her car was being followed by a police cruiser. When her car stopped at the "View" studios on the Upper West Side, it was surrounded by officers, who promptly arrested her driver. A visibly upset Stewart went up to her dressing room and, according to a source, "started shouting loudly to an assistant over the phone." The domestic diva yelled, "How could you do this to me? Don't you do background checks on people? He was Egyptian! What do I pay you people for?" Our spy added, somewhat unnecessarily, "She was furious." A rep for Martha Stewart Omnimedia told Page Six: "The company confirms the driver was arrested yesterday. He was a temporary employee and had only been with MSO a short while." The rep refused to give us the driver's name or what he was busted for. An NYPD rep said he could provide no information without a name.

“What do I pay you people for?” Certainly ranks right up there with the common celebrity-without-a-reservation line: “Don’t you know who I am?” But what’s with the “He was Egyptian” line? Does Martha think he was some kind of terrorist??

Thursday, June 07, 2007


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Thank God for that little Paris Hilton! In the absence of Lindsay, we’d all be compelled to contemplate the disaster that is Iraq; if this PARIS IN THE POKEY Drama were not so oddly compelling. I swear the whole City of Los Angeles is up in arms over Paris’ being released today from Prison after serving a paltry 3 days of a 45 day sentence, due to a “medical condition”
Various reports have the cause of Hilton’s early furlough being an “all-over body rash”!>(Note to Paris: Honey I told you to refill that VALTREX Prescription!)But PEOPLE Magazine also is indicating that P may be suffering some sort of nervous breakdown.

But This just in:
LOS ANGELES — Paris Hilton's release from jail may be short lived. Hours after she was sent home under house arrest Thursday for an undisclosed medical condition, the judge who put her in jail for violating her reckless-driving probation ordered her into court to decide if she should go back behind bars.
Hilton must report to court at 9 a.m. Friday, Superior Court spokesman Allan Parachini told The Associated Press.
"My understanding is she will be brought in in a sheriff's vehicle from her home," Parachini said.
The celebrity inmate was sent home from the Los Angeles County jail's Lynwood lockup shortly after 2 a.m. in a stunning reduction to her original 45-day sentence. She had reported to jail Sunday night after attending the MTV Movie Awards in a strapless designer dress.
She was ordered to finish her sentence under house arrest, meaning she could not leave her four-bedroom, three-bath home in the Hollywood Hills until next month.
City Attorney Rocky Delgadillo complained that he learned of her release the same way as almost everyone else _ through news reports.
Then, late Thursday, he filed a petition questioning whether Sheriff Lee Baca should be held in contempt of court for releasing Hilton _ and demanding that she be held in custody. Superior Court Judge Michael T. Sauer's decision to haul Hilton back to the courtroom came shortly after.
"It is the city attorney's position that the decision on whether or not Ms. Hilton should be released early and placed on electronic monitoring should be made by Judge Sauer and not the Sheriff's Department," said Jeffrey Isaacs of the city attorney's office.
Sauer himself had expressed his unhappiness with Hilton's release before Delgadillo asked him to return her to court. When he sentenced Hilton to jail last month, he ruled specifically that she could not serve her sentence at home under electronic monitoring.
Delgadillo's office indicated that it would argue that the Sheriff's Department violated Sauer's May 4 sentencing order.
I’m soo relieved! I didn’t know where the hell I was going to wear the above Tshirt purchased from my friends atGAWKER

CALLING ALL CELEBS: If you want to behave badlly & NOT get caught, I’d do it at 9:00 am tomorrow (Friday) Since every paparazzi & reporter in the free world will be at the Courthouse covering Paris’ arrival…you have a pass!

Speaking of sympathetic figures (?!) that sweet little, AMERICAN IDOL winner JORDIN SPARKS has just begun her “reign” and some bitchy anorexic shrink, or nutritionist or something named Mimi Roth is calling her out for being a “full-figured gal.” Roth says when she sees Sparks she sees: ”diabetes & high cholestorol” & that Sparks is a “vision of unhealthiness” Ms Sparks’ legion of fans have begun a campaign of death threats against Ms. Roth! I wonder if they’ve set up a phone bank of 800 numbers!??

You want to see a real vision of unhealthiness? Check out the the BRENDA DICKSON WEBSITE Ms. Dickson (of whom I’ve never heard) & pictured above at Christmas time, apparently was (is?) a daytime star who some years ago played the character Jill Abbott on The Young & The Restless. This role led to her greatest triumph: winning a People’s Choice Award for Best Villianess!! A bitter divorce has brought Ms Dickson back into the headlines. And the wonderful people atA SOCIAL LITE'S LIFEhave resurrected Brenda’s Classic 80’s Special:
Brenda Dickson: Welcome to My Home!. You gotta see it to believe it!

And in one of my better segues:

Animal Services seizes 120 pet rats
By Francisco Vara-Orta, Times Staff Writer
June 6, 2007

An 81-year-old Wilmington woman was found Monday afternoon by Los Angeles Department of Animal Services officers in her home with more than 100 rats and 35 other animals she kept as pets.

Wanda Langstom was taken to a hospital to be treated for animal bites. Her arms were covered with open wounds that were probably caused by her animals, said Annette Ramirez, an animal control officer.

Animal control officers also seized the animals, which included about 120 rats, most in cages but some running loose, 25 rabbits, a dog, six parakeets, a quail and a cockatiel.

"Langstom basically became overwhelmed at how quickly the rats reproduced. She said it just started with two but it got out of hand," Ramirez said. "Hoarding pets is something we see in Los Angeles frequently so it's not actually that rare a case."

Members of Animal Services' Anti-Cruelty Task Force visited Langstom's home in the 1100 block of Laguna Avenue on Monday to investigate "deplorable conditions," as described by a tip from someone who had visited Langstom's home earlier that day after seeing an ad for a rabbit in a local newspaper. "Once inside, the person saw all the cages and how the situation was bad for both the animals and the resident," Ramirez said.

Most of the animals were healthy, Ramirez said. A veterinarian was treating all of the seized animals, which are available for adoption in San Pedro at the Harbor Animal Care Center. The center's phone number is (213) 485-8755.

It always “just starts with two” doesn’t it?

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

June Gloom

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God! Was it dreary in L.A. today! Gray & cloudy the whole day. This phenomenon of June Gloom refers to the fact that this month the sun hardly ever shines! The sun finally comes out only to SET around 7:00, bitch! Bitch! Bitch!

The weekend was actually rather pleasant. There are so many nice flowers in the markets now. You cannot afford to NOT buy them. I made some nice centerpieces with lovely faux moss-covered pots filled with white hydrangea. I also made a fun centerpiece from various Italian soda & olive oil bottles filled with single blooms of staggered lengths. It works best on a long rectangular table & can be really striking!

DR DEATH AT LARGE! Dr. Jack Kevorkian was released from prison over the weekend. Jailed for having illegally assisted in the suicides of 130 terminally ill patients, Kevorkian remains unremorseful. Glad he’s back in the news though! I used to have a joke in my “act” that went: “Yea…I’m so depressed I have DR KEVORKAIN on SPEED DIAL!”

The behind the scenes battles at the a.m. chat shows is getting uglier! PAGE SIX REPORTS:

CHILDISH staffers at the "Today" show have been reduced to homophobic name-calling about their rivals at "Good Morning America" - Diane Sawyer, Chris Cuomo, Robin Roberts and Sam Champion. A network source says,” 'Today' staffers, from top to bottom, executives to interns, refer to 'GMA' as 'Gay-MA' “and snicker about the hosts.”GMA" has been gaining in the ratings on No. 1 "Today" and cut its lead in half. For their part, the "GMA" folks are said to refer to "Today" as "Yesterday." Reps for both shows declined to comment
This is rather sad on the part of TODAY! Since a number of GMA correspondents are
actually gay!

And you know what? GMA is deservedly winning this race! I don’t think its MEREDITH VIERA’s fault, but the show sucks! I no longer give a damn “WHERE IN THE WORLD IS MATT LAUER?” And last week they had New York Real Estate guru, BARBARA CORCORAN do a segment. Wherein Ms. Corcoran re-staged a home that was not selling. She claimed to have managed this feat for under $100! But what was so patently false was that Corcoran had a staff of at least 20 pros (landscapers, house painters, cleaners, “de-clutterers”) do all the work. And unless these folks were Volunteers from HABITAT FOR HUMANITY the cost of labor for all this work would have been in the thousands of dollars! But this is the least of it! Do we really need DR. NANCY SNYDERMAN on EVERY Story?? I say BRING BACK KATIE & solve both NBC’s & CBS’s problems in one fell swoop!

OH my GOD!! I am still reeling from Sunday Night TV!! I said I was over THE SOPRANOS, but damn! that episode was riveting! It’s like Shakespeare for modern times! JAMES GANDOLFINI is nothing short of heroic. And does anyone NOT love CARMELLA??? That EDIE FALCO is never not stunning! I followed THE SOPRANOS with the finale of my absolute favorite show: THE TUDORS! And I so wish I could tell you that I have managed to rid my thoughts of the scene in which HENRY VIII was shown to be jerk*** off while watching Anne Boleyn through a curtain, but when Henry is played by JONATHAN RHYS MEYRS with THAT body such is not the case! With JRM, MARIA DOYLE KENNEDY, & the death–defying SAM NEILL this show is truly a primer in TV Acting!