thegaygardener

Changing The World One Pansy At A Time!

Saturday, September 29, 2007

Blind Spot





Did you watch DIRTY SEXY MONEY What did you think? I’m not sure. I’ll have to watch it again. I loved seeing the gorgeous PETER KRAUSE. He’s a really fine actor & very easy on the eyes. I also like watching “Karen Darling” NATALIE ZEA, beautiful & a mess! DONALD SUTHERLAND is always interesting & it’s nice to have JILL CLAYBURGH back, she was such an acting icon in the late 70’s/80’s (so my Mother tells me) Let’s see where this goes.

I adore TED CASABLANCA. He of E! and the late, lamented GOSSIP SHOW. Ted is always worth reading if just for his “blind items” which are true tales of Hollywood with the names disguised to protect the guilty. And oh what names Ted gives his characters. He’s been writing about a successful, handsome & CLOSETED movie star named TOOTHY TILE for so many years that people are getting angry with him for not revealing Toothy’s identity. This weeks’ blind item is very tantalizing. It doesn’t involve Toothy but the Hollywood Closet IS a “walk –in”!

Oh, it was such a gay party, and by that definition I don’t mean gay gay, just a good time. A typical Hollywood do, the festive bash was at a posh residence. Stars from both screens were mingling right next to the Diet Cokes, the boozy cocktails and the pigs in blankets. And in the middle of it all, nonfamous babes ‘n’ hons were oh so casually just la-dee-dah-ing it up, pretending like mad they weren’t desperate to be the human blanket around Dewbie Stammer’s very own little piggy.
Oh, that Dewb, such the charmer. Never a classically handsome dude, D has nevertheless—like many not exactly stunning guys, Owen Wilson, for ince—always managed to keep the gals fretting by his side. Alas, to no avail. No one woman has ever seemed quite fretlicous enough to warrant being by Dewbie’s side for very long, quel crap.
But that certainly didn’t keep the femmes from following Mr. S round the above party, as (pathetically) discreet as they thought they were being. So very ironically, it turned out to be a guy who made the following discovery:
A fellow guest got bored. After all, it was late, and a lot of the major players, not to mention the soiree’s staff, had gone home. Said guy went to the coat check room, which had been abandoned, and he headed back into the furthest interior space inside the long closet. He heard moans. And he heard slurps. And he realized Missy Coat Check might just still be around after all, getting a very nice tip from a fellow departing reveler.
But when the dude got to the back of the check area, looking up from his crouched position and staring back was a superflushed Dewbie Stammer, having just finished servicing a guy lying down on the floor. No wonder Dewbie never seems to meet the right girl!
(He’s always looking for the right trick in a box.)


Before you start harvesting the pumpkins & getting ready for Halloween go to your local nursery & check out the kale. I love this plant. You can eat it, use it as a shrub, or in centerpieces (that looks really pretty) Most of it is “ornamental” but ask your gardener about the edible varieties. And I can certainly tell its time for Halloween as on September 26 I saw Christmas trees being put on display at KMART

Have a great weekend!

Thursday, September 27, 2007

"Sugar Is The New Oil"

"Cheese is the new Butter" -David Letterman

Dave is mocking the most quoted line from the new CBS series, CANE. Isn't oil still the new oil?

O.K. You know how excited I am to have been nominated for BEST GOSSIP BLOG in The Blogger's Choice Awards to be held in Las Vegas in November? Guess what? I'VE BEEN HACKED!!! Some Christian fundementalist whacko out there thought it would be fun to redirect anyone voting for TheGayGardener to some BIBLE website explaining that the end of the world is near because of the gays etc.!!

I'm still trying to figure it out & correct it if I can. I appreciate all your votes & I'm sorry for any inconvenience, particularly if you were directed to that site.
Hopefully I can get it all figured out. In the meantime you can still vote forme for Best Hobby Blog or Best Humour Blog

Blogger's Choice Awards


Thanks!

BREAKING NEWS!!!

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Breaking news!
My spies at the hottest restaurant on the Planet now, OSTERIA MOZZA, claim that DREW BARRYMORE and THE CUTE MAC GUY (Name: Justin, Josh, Jason??? who cares?) are there right now & making out!!! Like tongue & Everything!~ ugh Breeders!! Get A Room!

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Margin of Error

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Apparently that Pinot Noir was stronger than I realized because I keep hearing all these tales that I missed from RUFUS WAINWRIGHT at The Hollywood Bowl on Sunday. Ted Casablanca at The Awful Truth on E! Online tells me that JAKE GYLENHAAL was with his BFF and lovin’ every minute of it! But separating the handsome duo was the unlikely beard of JAMIE LEIGH CURTIS who if I recall, is Jake’s Godmother! Perfect! Since The Bowl was filled with so many fairies on Sunday what was desperately needed was a Fairy Godmother & who better than Jamie Leigh!?

11 New Species of plants & animals have been discovered in Viet Nam. This is simply extraordinary! Three new varieties of orchids were among the treasures unearthed in an area called the Green Corridor. All the orchids are leafless & the beautiful one above is called “Phyllagathis Melastomtaceae” which means pretty pink star flower in Vietnamese (uhm I just made that up) But it is all very exciting!

And also exciting to hear the good news that there are NO Homosexuals in Iran! At least according to Iranian President Ahmadinejad. Appearing before a student audience at Columbia University (who had the good sense to laugh at this declaration)
“In Iran we don’t have this phenomenon.” (gays) “I don’t know who told you we have it.” Jeeze! Maybe it’s all the photos that have appeared on line of the hangings of young men who are sentenced to death for the crime of being “suspected” of being gay. But I’ll take you at your word, Mr. Ahmadinejad. There are no homosexuals in Iran. And that is why it such a God damned, hate-filled, loveless, colorless, drab, miserable, & HAIRY, piece-of-shit, barren country. Amen.

In a related matter, Retiring Chairman of The Joint Chiefs of Staff, Gen. Peter Pace refused to amend his earlier hateful remarks & reiterated his statements that homosexuality is “counter to God’s law”
Pace's lengthy answer on gays was prodded by (the HEROIC) Sen. Tom Harkin, who said he found Pace's previous remarks as "very hurtful" and "very demoralizing" to homosexuals serving in the military. Pace noted that the U.S. Military Code of Justice prohibits homosexual activity as well as adultery. Harkin said, "Well, then, maybe we should change that." Senator Harkin once ran for President years ago. I wish he would again.

Speaking of the Presidency…I’m just curious about something. All the mainstream media (msm) have basically anointed HILLARY RODHAM CLINTON as the Next Democratic Nominee for President. All the polls have her ahead of the pack. I live in Los Angeles. I have this blog. I’ve written a book & other pieces. I see private landscape clients (TheGayGardener By Appointment) I work as a consultant on the side. I have dozens of friends of both genders, from all walks of life. I go to a fairly liberal Catholic Church on Sundays. I know of NO ONE, Not one single person, who is supporting HILLARY. Gay/ Straight, male/female, celebrity/non. Nor have any of them been consulted by a polling company. Do you know of anyone? Were they contacted on the phone? Approached in a mall? What? Nothing against Sen. Clinton. My main beef with her is that I think this country needs a big change. And I don’t think that change begins with replacing the son of one President with the wife of another. Else we should have just stayed an English colony & forget all that Revolutionary stuff. At least The Royals are somewhat glamorous and oh! The jewelry!

"President Ahmadinejad claimed there were no homosexuals in Iran. That's why it's almost impossible to find a good dog groomer in Tehran!" DAVID LETTERMAN

Rufus & Judy & Cane...oh my!

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Alcoholic's Lie #23- If I drink the organic wine, I won’t be as hung-over.

People in their late 30’s (like me) simply can’t go out every single night. It’s exhausting & the bounce back time keeps growing. Anyway it was a really fun weekend.

Friday night I went to a terrific new restaurant in Hollywood called, THE FOUNDRY. A large room with intimate banquets & art deco chandeliers; great service & amazing food. All very unusual for L.A.

Saturday I went to a fun birthday party that was held on the CBS/Radford lot on the “New York Street”. Was so grateful that the torrential rains we had all Friday & Saturday afternoon had stopped that I didn’t even mind the sudden plunge in temperature. California is such a land of extremes in weather, wealth, lifestyle & celebrity. It doesn’t rain for like a year & then we get more in a few hours than some folks get in 6 months.

Sunday- RUFUS WAINWRIGHT at The Hollywood Bowl. This was the event of the summer. Rufus’ tribute to JUDY GARLAND. The bowl was filled to capacity with so many gay men, that if a bomb had gone off they’d have had to close Show Business on Monday morning.
Debbie Reynolds (looking serene & beautiful) Jake Gyllenhaal, Rod Stewart, Hillary Swank, The Ron Rifkins, were some of the folks I saw. The show itself was disappointingly uneven. Wainwright is very talented & looked splendid in dark blazer & white slacks & brought the house down for the finale when he changed to Judy’s iconic short tuxedo & fedora. And his voice though lovely, sometimes struggled for the key & is so; angelic, it lacks the power & bravado & pathos to do these classic songs justice. It was like listening to ANDREA BOCELLI sing SAN FRANCISCO. A tribute to Rufus’s generous personality though, saw him bring out his songstress sister, MARTHA WAINWRIGHT, whose rendition of STORMY WEATHER stopped the show, literally! Fabulous! Another highlight was LORNA LUFT doing a duet with R.W. Though some of my bitchy queen neighbors were grumbling that it wasn’t LIZA. Hey boys…Lorna has been coherent all these years & unlike her sister can still sing. I applaud Rufus’ passion & yea, bravery, in putting himself out there & giving it his all. Maybe I’m just jealous. When I was 13 years old my family bought one of those portable tape recorders with a microphone. We passed around the mike & I sang my little heart out. My horrified father & nervous mother didn’t seem to appreciate my version of The Man That Got Away either.

Did you watch CANElast night? I watched some of it. What I saw looked pretty good but I don’t know if I’m ready to commit to a Cuban “Dynasty” Not enough NOLAN MILLER for my taste. What I am looking forward to is tonight’s DIRTY, SEXY, MONEY on ABC. Wealth, NYC, trannies & Peter Krause that’s my kind of cocktail!
Oh & I am still addicted to Dancing With The Stars . I think that race car guy, you know the Brazilian, HELIO CASTONEVES is so charming & sexy. And for the first minute I hated that model guy, ALBERT REED (I mentioned he’s a model, right?) but he was so dorky, and sort of self deprecating, “in on the joke” that I ended up really liking him. Tonight is an elimination round. I think that JOSIE MORAN is likely to go. The judges were so mean to her on Monday night. We’ll see.

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore

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Alice lived in the valley, on Sunshine Terrace, which is exactly where she belonged. Because that’s what she was… sunshine! Alice Ghostley, the Tony Award winning actress who died on Friday, was best known to TV Fans as Esmeralda on BEWITCHED & later as Bernice on DESIGNING WOMEN. She was one of my first friends when I moved to Los Angeles, I’m lucky enough to say. She & her handsome, charming husband, the late actor, FELICE ORLANDI were just the kind of people that you wanted to be around. They were fun & funny, kind & terribly in love with each other. In the news stories regarding her death, the legendary actress, KAYE BALLARD, who along with Alice played the ugly stepsisters in a TV production of CINDERELLA starring JULIE ANDREWS, said that “Alice never said a cruel thing about anyone!” And that was true & so rare in someone so funny. The joke was always at her expense or maybe “our” expense but never mean! And she was so mischievously funny. She & the late CHARLES NELSON REILLY used to write commercial jingles together which they would perform years later at dinner parties & still be letter perfect! Her character was always named “Sheila” for reasons I never could figure out, except that Charles liked the drama of the name. When Michael Jeter won the EMMY AWARD for Best Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series (EVENING SHADE) Alice & Felice sat right behind us. She looked beautiful in a sparkly white evening gown. She was also nominated for Best Supporting Actress in a Comedy that year. Michael won, but Alice did not. But she honestly seemed as overjoyed with his win as she would have been with hers. That’s the kind of class act Alice was. Alice & Felice, & Charles & his partner Patrick Hughes & Michael & I, would go to dinner every few weeks on Sunday evenings at ADRIANO’S in Beverly Glen. I learned more about comedy, timing, humanity, love, life & sorrow at those dinners than at any acting school you could imagine. I laughed till my sides ached. And now my heart does.

After Michael & I split up, Alice & Felice would come & take me to dinner every few weeks. At MUSSO & FRANK or THE DEW DROP INN in the valley, or some great Hollywood haunt. They did their damdest to keep my spirits up & they did. They didn’t take sides, they didn’t play favorites. If they loved you, they loved you for keeps.

When Michael & I adopted our little boy, Sam, the English Springer Spaniel; we had a conversation. “What if something happens to us?” “What if our plane goes down?” “Who will take care of Sam & Pete & Jack?” (the cats) It took 2 seconds for us to answer: “Alice & Felice- they’ll take care of the boys!” Thus our little animal menagerie had two blessed God Parents, who took their duties very seriously & never missed a birthday!

Felice Orlandi died in 2003, the same year as Michael Jeter. Alice, riddled with cancer & struck by stroke, died in 2007. When I heard about her passing on Friday, I was saddened. But my sadness quickly turned to joy. I thought of how happy she would be to be reunited with her beloved Felice. And how much laughter their would be in Heaven when Felice took Alice over to where Charles & Michael were playing charades & a little black & white dog named Sam, sat at their feet. No, Alice doesn’t live here anymore. She’s an angel in Heaven… as she always was.

Saturday, September 22, 2007

"ScrapBooking"

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J-Lo is in London, England promoting her new album. The Dorchester Hotel is reporting her “special requests” via fax (!!)

two humidifiers, two fans, a room set at 80 degrees, Jo Malone candles, white or red roses, soft-baked chocolate chip cookies, sour cream and onion chips, regular chips, veggie platters, plain M&M's, sunflower seeds, Ritz crackers, Dentyne Ice gum, spicy brown mustard, mayonnaise, Smartwater, caffeine-free Coke and Red Bull.

Good Lord!! “Jenny From The Block” should be satisfied with the sour cream & onion potato chips! And there are major rumors that J-Lo is knocked up!! Mmmm maybe that explains all the special foods!

Have you ever heard of “Scrapbooking” I’m sure you have. But as was recently explained to me, the crafting hobby may not be all it appears! There are many “Desperate Housewives” in the Brentwood area as you know. Well as I hear it they are all “scrapbooking”. But what makes this interesting, is that that’s not what they’re really up to.
The scrapbook that they’re all working on is delivered to the home of whoever is hosting that week’s party. But that book is a decoy & is cut-out in the middle (just like a woman’s prison “B” movie) & filled with COKE!! The suburban lovelies then get together & blow rails til they’re satisfied (never!) cut out some photos & decorative borders & wait til the next party! Next Stop Stepford!!! Girls!!! Tsk-tsk.

Have a great weekend all!

Thursday, September 20, 2007

PhotoShopping

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By now you’ve seen those “Fishnet Fotos” of boxing champ, OSCAR DELA HOYA! If not, Google them. I’m not providing a link here because, hey Oscar’s a professional boxer…he could probably take me! But they are amazing. The champ’s people are claiming they are fakes, someone photoshopped Oscar’s head onto someone else body. But the young woman who sold them swears they’re the real deal. She was in the room when they were taken. More will be revealed!

In a related matter…I saw this ad for The Los Angeles Daily News today. Is it a joke? Is that KATIE HOLMES CRUISE? Clipping coupons in a newspaper ad? I mean I know her marriage to TC was not the best career move, but still! Maybe it’s just someone who looks like her. If not, that “post-Cruise-marriage-Oscar-ala-Nicole” is seeming less likely.

ARETHA FRANKLIN is a national treasure. I’d like to have her around & singing for a long, long, time. But from this photo from a New York tribute to DR. M.L.King, Jr., it looks like Ree has been singing “Chain, chain, chain, chain of FOOD” Not Fools! Ms. Franklin CALL JENNY! You could be the next celebrity Spokesperson after VALERIE BERTINELLI!

A big thank you to Sue M in Studio City! I had a blast doing your terrace this week. Glad you like it. You’re a doll.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

“Habitual, Frequent & Continuous”

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Sweet baby Jesus! I think that BRITNEY SPEARS is attempting “suicide by paparazzi” Hours after a judge ordered BS to undergo random drug testing in her custody hearing with KFED, she’s dancing on tables at HYDE, a Hollywood night club. The judge in the case ordered the testing because there was evidence of “habitual, frequent & continuous use of controlled substances & alcohol. As I said when I saw her at KOI a few weeks ago, I honestly think Brit is suffering from mental illness & not drug abuse. She had two kids in quick succession at a young age; maybe its post-partum depression…has anyone called TOM CRUISE?? Seriously though it isn’t titillating, it’s just downright sad. I don’t want to watch it any more. And I especially do not want to watch that Viral YOUTUBE Video, “Leave Britney Alone” Have you seen this character, CHRIS CROCKER? His (?) Brit Defense has been downloaded over 1.6 million times. I am not providing a link here….eeew. The beauty part is that after striving for years to be a celebrity (he has pitched programs to the gay themed network, LOGO, before) he now is.
Crocker is in negotiations for his own show. In the interest of full disclosure I should say that I have pitched LOGO on more than one occasion myself, so perhaps I’m just bitter. I think it’s just that Chris has better highlights & eyeliner!

If you were writing a piece of fiction that remotely resembled the life of O.J.Simpson, people would laugh you out of the room because it is simply too implausible. And ACT II is just getting started. Simpson did manage to post his ridiculously low bail & leave Las Vegas. One of the victims of the hold-up was arrested today on a parole violation, while another victim is still in the hospital recovering from a massive heart attack! You could NOT make this stuff up. Did you see former prosecutor, MARCIA CLARK covering today’s hearing for Entertainment Tonight? She’s all sleekly blonde now…I miss the Jheri-curl of yester-year!

Aren’t those purple lantanas lovely? I was reminded of how terrific they are when I visited Italy last month, where they are abundant. They grow almost as well here in California. They are very hearty, bloom year round, can tolerate heat & even neglect. Hmmm… that sounds like the perfect description of a romantic partner too!

I have this policy of bringing wine or candles as a hostess gift & never flowers, but I am beginning to re-think that. In olden days a guest would send flowers as a thank you the morning after the event. But now who even remembers? One reason to not bring flowers was the assumption that the hostess would then feel the need to display them & who needs that pressure? But the truth is she/he can just shove them in some water & put them away to be arranged the next day. Which is exactly what I did with these beautiful Stargazers my friend, the famous makeup artist, gave me at my cocktail party on Saturday night. And they have brought me joy every day since.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Crimes & Misdemeanors

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I’m not saying that this is any reflection on RYAN SEACREST’s performance on Sunday’s Emmy Awards, but seeing the AMERICAN IDOL GAME in the bargain bin at RAPLH’S GROCERY STORE tonight really didn’t come as a shock. The fact that it was right next to some sort of $1.99 diapers seemed just poetically perfect too!

If you are a semi-famous white male & you want to murder a woman & get away with it, then move to Los Angeles! News is coming in that the PHIL SPECTOR jury is hung (and I don’t mean in a good way!!)
The aged music mogul is accused of murdering actress Lana Clarkson. The defense has promoted the argument that the actress committed suicide! And I mean, hey let’s face it; whenever a beautiful, fading, actress decides to end her life, she would naturally choose to do so in the home of the strange (literally) man she just met. Absurd! But he’s going to get away with it.

Most of you will be too young to remember the very first Reality T.V. series, AN AMERICAN FAMILY which aired on PBS in 1973. And in truth, I only saw a later rebroadcast; but let me tell you, it was riveting! TV GUIDE later named it one of the 50 Best TV Shows of All Time. The producers of the documentary chose what seemed the quintessential American family; the Louds. Bill & Pat Loud & their 5 children living the good life in Santa Barbara, California looked perfect. Very attractive, successful, & living the American dream in one of our prettiest cities.
But like many (most?) families things behind closed doors were not so pretty & soon the cameras were capturing the imploding of a family. Pat caught Bill cheating on her again, kicked him out of the house & demanded a divorce. And Lance, their son, basically came out on national television. You could NOT make this stuff up. It happened, it was real, & it was all on film. Lance Loud later went on to become a successful writer & columnist & gay icon. He contracted HIV but died of complications of Hepatitis C in 2001. I went to a party last week. Lots of people I don’t know. I see a friendly face & attach myself to her. She’s a beautiful woman with long gray hair. One of those older women that when you see them you think: “God! When they were young they must have been gorgeous!” I don’t quite catch her name. After a while, I think she’s so kind & so interesting, I must ask her name again. “Pat” she says…”Pat Loud” And it hits me! "Your PAT LOUD from An American Family” She seems surprised I should know her. But I almost wanted to cry. I guess it was because I, we, had a front row seat to some of her pain, but could only guess at the rest. And yet, here she was, at 80 years old (!) still gorgeous, interested, present, & living a LIFE! Not remotely a “victim” And so self-effacing that I knew she would never have introduced her TV pioneer fame, if I hadn’t! God Rest Lance, & God Bless you Pat!

Monday, September 17, 2007

M.E. for EMMY! Stat!

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Yep! Call the Medical Examiner because last night’s Emmy telecast was D.O.A. It just kept getting more horrific as time went on (and on!)
First of all I haven’t seen a worse “theatre-in-the-round” production since I went to see a road tour of A CHORUS LINE at The Valley Forge Music Theatre in 1983. This is definitely an idea whose time has come & gone. I think the absolute nadir occurred when RYAN SEACREST bounded on the stage wearing JONATHAN RHYS MEYERS” costume from THE TUDORS, what was he thinking, well clearly he wasn’t. Were we just supposed to laugh at the “gayness” of it all? Tony Bennet is still a class act & CHRISTINA AGUILARA is very talented, but featuring them as a duet is like pairing LUCIANO PAVAROTTI with The BEEGEES! SALLY FIELD might have made a better argument for peace if she’d bothered to remember her speech or at least improvised more elegantly. Sheesh!
And in what parallel universe does JAMES SPADER beat JAMES GANDOLFINI in an acting contest? Who knew THE PRACTICE was even still on the air? It took an old broad like ELAINE STRITCH to finally pump a little life into the room but it was far too late!
For a far more critical assessment see Ken Levine’s review over on The Huffington Post

Ken Levine on HuffPo

The ACLU has filed an AMICUS CURIAE or "friend of the court" brief in defense of toe-tapping Senator James Craig. In this case I think the legal filing should correctly be called an AMICUS QUEERY brief, don’t you. Which reminds me that the funniest moment in the EMMY Telecast was actually the toe tapping BILL MAHER entry for his writers’ nomination! Hysterical! And did you know that The Men’s room in The Minneapolis Airport is now an (semi) official tourist destination? Visitors are flocking there to have their pictures taken in the stalls! I love it!

Some sad news, BRETT SOMERS died over the weekend. She was the Queen of The MATCH GAME and a perfect foil for fellow panelist CHARLES NELSON REILLY. Who’d have thought that her ex-hubby JACK KLUGMAN would outlive her? Please click on the YouTube click below if you want a laugh. It seems to me that Heaven is getting to be a funnier place every day!

Match Game


The ANNA NICOLE SAGA is really the gift that keeps on giving but was anyone else simply delighted to see O.J. in handcuffs again? Does it not make you believe in Karma? The fact that he could actually do serious time for this stuff is poetic justice personified!
Maybe he’ll rev up The Bronco & head for the border again!! Oh boy!

Saturday was my 4th Annual Cocktail Party to celebrate the Feast of San Genarro. We had a blast! You may well ask why does an Irish, gay, gardener, celebrate an obscure Italian Saint? (Januarius to the rest of us) Mainly, I love a theme! And because the Italian Flag is red white & green I get to re-use many of my Christmas decorations as well as some cherubs from Valentine’s Day for religious significance!
It was all votives & Christmas lights, so the above pic doesn’t do it justice. Thanks to all who came.or rather "grazie"

Friday, September 14, 2007

"I Don't Mean Rhinestones"

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My fellow Southern California Gardeners: Put down that nozzle & step away from the hose! Seriously, we’re experiencing the worst drought since the early 90’s & we have to figure out some new ways to conserve water. One thing that drives me crazy are these folks who use the hose as a broom. You know them. The weekend lawn jockeys who turn on the water full blast and propel grass cuttings into the gutter…where they stay. Give up the lawn people. Plant more cactus.

You know those conspiracy theorists who think that The White House knows exactly where Osama Bin Laden is but couldn’t be bothered arresting or killing him because he serves the administration’s agenda? Well they may be on to something. Did you see President Bush’s speech tonight? Clearly he’s taking grooming advice from OBL & dipping into the Grecian Formula!

Stop! Thief! Poor Carol Channing was the victim of a robbery in Hollywood yesterday. While checking into the Renaissance Hotel on Hollywood Blvd someone walked away with one of Miss Channing’s garment bags, & boy did he hit the motherlode. The bag contained a one-of-a-kind dress made entirely of diamonds & was valued @ $150,000. Miss Channing was to donate the gown to The Smithsonian Institute along with one of her TONY Awards.

“Message in a Brothel”-Craig Ferguson on reports that STING was photographed leaving a famous house of ill repute in Germany.

Hearty Congratulations to KATHY GRIFFIN on her well deserved Emmy Award. KG won for Best Reality Show. And if you watched this past season you’ll know why. Brilliant! Her Category is given out in advance of the big show which is this Sunday…God help us! I’m going to the FOX party at Spago…more later!

Monday, September 10, 2007

"Won't You Be My Neighbor?"

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A few months back this really beautiful girl moved into my neighborhood. Said she was an artist/model. Whenever I hear that I don’t ask follow up questions because, well… artist/model covers everything from Eileen Ford’s best to exotic dancer. Anyway this girl is gorgeous so I was only mildly surprised when I was passing through London Heathrow last week & saw my artist friend on the cover of the English tabloid The Mail On Sunday. Seems “Sarai” spent the spring consoling hottie, OLIVIER MARTINEZ after (before?) he separated from songbird, KYLIE MINOGUE and felt a strong emotional (read: financial) need to unburden herself to the Mail.
Sarai swears she didn’t “steal” Olivier from Kylie, whom it should be noted was getting chemotherapy for breast cancer at the time. The good news is that Sarai informs us that “what they say about the French is true!” Thank God! I thought it was all rumor. Remind me, what do they say about the French?

Went to a terrific fundraiser at The Beverly Hills Hotel last night benefiting FARM SANCTUARY. This is an animal right organization that strives to improve the living conditions of farm animals everywhere. One of the honorees is my new hero, LORETTA SWIT You will remember Loretta from the classic M*A*S*H TV show. But her work as an actress pales in comparison to her work as an animal activist. Loretta single-handedly persuaded the city of Chicago to ban the sale & import of foie gras. And if you ever seen this pate made you’d understand why. Ol’ “Hotlips Houlihan” made a strong argument about the link between violence against animals being linked to violence in society at large. Ms Swit proclaimed “I’d fight for YOU as hard as I’m fighting for this duck!” It was oddly emotional & I believe her!

Saw “Incredible Hunk” ERIC BANA at Runyon Canyon with a buddy last week. And yep…he’s pretty incredible.

While at LAX this morning I saw sexy crooner, JOHN LEGEND as well as AMY POHLER & hubby WILL ARNETT all headed to NYC

Did you see BRITNEY on the VMAs??? Oy! Let’s discuss

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Ciao! Ragazzi!

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Like many of you I went to the beach for Labor Day, the last big weekend of the summer. But for this long weekend I was lucky enough to go to the beach in Italy! I had an amazing time but the jetlag is killing me. I am too old to do Europe in less than 6 days.

I joined some friends in a beautiful place one hour south of Rome called, Cierceo. Located in The Mediterranean (or Tyrrhenian Sea) this splendid isle offers views of the archipelago known as The Pontine Islands, as well as Capri. Diving off the rocks of The Villa Arnone into the warm Med will go along way to curing what ails you.
And the terraced gardens of the villa were enough to drive TheGayGardener into despair because there’s no way I could ever replicate their beauty! See above pics for a hint.

On the way back from London to L.A. I see a tall, elegant woman with “Jackie O” sunglasses kneeling before a handsome gentleman in Business Class & chatting quietly. When the lady got up & returned to First Class, I realized it was the very talented actress, ALFRE WOODARD. I suppose the “class difference” was because some studio was too cheap pay for 2 First Class tickets & so the gentleman had to go Business. I imdb’d Alfre & saw that the man she was chatting with was her (shocking!) husband, Producer, Roderick Spencer. From what I saw these two really dig each other! Nice!

Also in First Class on my flight was JACK COLEMAN. You may remember him as the 2nd “Steven Carrington” on DYNASTY. Steven was one of the first gay characters in a series in Prime Time. But of course those were the dark days of gayness, so the writers eventually had him marry little “Sammy Jo” played by a new actress named, HEATHER LOCKLEAR! Coleman must be in his mid 40s, is about 7 feet tall & looks great.

Speaking of Italy, the country is in major mourning tonight with the announcement of the death of the legendary LUCIANO PAVAROTTI.
The larger than life tenor did more than any singer since MARIO LANZA to bring Opera to the masses. Just to listen to the great one sing the first few bars of “Nessun Dorma” from Turandot will give you goose bumps. God Rest his soul!

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Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
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What I can’t get my head around (pardon the expression) is Idaho Senator Larry (he’s in, he’s out, he in again) Craig didn’t even know what the person in the next stall looked like, let alone that he was a cop. Yuck!

For the most sensitive, accurate, insightful assessment of the Sen. Craig situation, I give you…CINDY ADAMS! Yep Joey’s widow & New York Post columnist has weighed in with her opinion of the whole sordid mess. And it’s brilliant! I’ve been reading The Post since I was 15 years old & even now I don’t know what the hell Cindy is saying half the time. She has a definite “patois” much like E’s Ted Casablanca, but at least Ted’s column comes with a translator key.
There’s no possibility of misconstruing Cindy’s September 4th piece:

I HAVE nothing for this ruined ex- politico ex-senator ex-nice family man Larry Craig. Never met him. Never heard of him before. I don't care a fig about him. I don't care about Idaho either. I don't even know where that is, other than you get to Chicago and make a left. Aside from a baked potato topped with sour cream, who-the-hell ever makes mention of Idaho? So, I have no horse in this race. It's just that in my limited, not-very-smart view, his guilt is primarily hypocrisy.
The rest of the crime, if in fact Craig is gay, is of our making. The tawdry solicitation leaves us partly to blame. Draping homosexuality in shame is what forces the weak to hide and lie and rail against it publicly in order to cover themselves privately. A guess would be he spoke and voted and campaigned against it in fear for himself. To draw a curtain around his own being. Those Enron guys probably didn't start out bilking billions. They started small. A little here, a bit more there. It's always the first step. Suddenly you're in it up to your eyeballs. Same with this shivering little scared mess of a man. Terrified of his own self, he early on made one statement. Then maybe had to back it up. Then he maybe enlarged it. All in mortal dread that his innermost voice might make itself heard.
Possibly someday, if all of us, each with our own demons, could wash away the stain of whatever tints our sexuality, this pathetic soul would never have picked a bathroom for a bedroom.


Thanks kid! (As Cindy herself would say)

Speaking of other LARRY’s caught in compromising positions…
The tabloids & blogs are screaming with the story of the skankiest coupling since AMY WINEHOUSE met Mr. Amy Winehouse & that would be LARRY BIRKHEAD & HOWARD K. STERN. According to a new book by RITA COSBY called BLONDE AMBITION: The Untold Story Behind the Death of Anna Nicole Smith; Larry & Howard were (are) lovers who made a deal to share little Danielyn & her (possible) millions. Ms. Cosby even claims that there is an actual video tape showing the gruesome-twosome engaged in a sex act and that the late Ms. Smith knew that Birkhead was gay but chose him for his DNA so that she would have a blonde/blue-eyed baby. I always did think it strange how quickly these two former adversaries “kissed & made up” maybe this explains it.

I found these cool red flowers at the flower mart the other day. A type of bromeliad they look really pretty in a plain glass or white container. They remind me of coral, which is still so hot right now. Throw some sand & shells on the table & a few of these babies in milk-glass vases & viola! instant clam-bake!