Changing The World One Pansy At A Time!

Monday, November 26, 2007


Did everyone have a Happy Thanksgiving?? I did. It is still the best holiday, especially for the “binge & purge crowd

“Little Miss Sunshine” this ain’t. Did you see the story about the sabotage at the Miss Universe/Puerto Rico Pageant? Beauty queen Ingrid Marie Rivera beat 29 rivals to become the island's 2008 Miss Universe contestant, despite applying makeup and wearing evening gowns that had been coated with pepper spray, pageant spokesman Harold Rosario said. Rivera was composed while appearing before cameras and judges throughout the competition. But once backstage, she had to strip off her clothes and apply ice bags to her face and body, which swelled and broke out in hives twice.
"We thought at first it was an allergic reaction, or maybe nerves," Rosario said. "But the second time, we knew it couldn't have been a coincidence."
Rivera's clothing and makeup later tested positive for pepper spray.
Someone also stole Rivera's bag containing her gowns, makeup and credit cards. And a bomb threat forced pageant officials to postpone the last day of competition on Thursday, said Magali Febles, director of the Miss Puerto Rico Universe pageant.

Speaking of mean Queens…. Get a load of Camilla Parker Bowles all gussied up & literally dripping in diamonds. What is the British word for TACKY? Oh, right…tacky! On Friday, at the Queen's Banquet for the Commonwealth Heads of Government in Kampala, Uganda, Camilla, wore an opulent diamond necklace loaned to her by the Queen from the Royal Jewellery Collection and said to be worth tens of millions of pounds.
It was last worn by the Queen Mother in one of the final pictures taken of her before her death on March 30, 2002.
Famed for her love of the finer things in life, even she thought three strands of diamonds enough, just as she did when she wore it to a similar state banquet nearly 60 years ago.
Camilla, on the other hand, opted for the full five strands – and wasn't too shy (as if!)to accompany it with the Queen Mother's Boucheron tiara and a pair of heavy drop diamond earrings. My mother was right; you really can’t make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear! Also in the LONDON DAILY MAIL was this poll asking a sampling of women if they would ever curtsey to Camilla? Many said yes. I liked this woman’s take though:
"I couldn't bring myself to curtsey to Camilla. She is a mistress made good, a woman who acquired her royal status by virtue of persistent adultery with the Prince of Wales.
In doing so, she contributed to the break-up of two marriages, that of Charles and Diana, and her own.
I have rather more respect for the institution of marriage than of royalty, so I'm afraid I couldn't bring myself to make even a token bob"
. “A mistress made good” Don’t you love it?

BAM! Chef EMERIL LAGASSE OUT at The Food Network. Does anyone remember when NBC thought it a good idea to create a sit-com around this guy? Ugh!

Further proof that God has the most delicious sense of humor. You know that Sen. Trent Lott announced his resignation from the Senate today. Surprising all because he was just re-elected & is the 2nd most powerful Republican member of the Senate. Rumors are running rampant that the real reason ole Trent is resigning is due to the fact that LARRY FLYNT of HUSTLER fame is getting ready to drop a bombshell that has the married Lott involved with a young male escort. Oh Please let this be true!

Monday, November 19, 2007

Count Your Lucky Stars!

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So much to be grateful for…still.

Another thing I like to do at Thanksgiving:Take your random gravy boats, sugar bowels, tea pots, the chipped ones, the ones without lids, or even the ones you can pick up at any garage sale for $1 & use them for floral arrangements. With the smaller ceramic pieces you can even use them at each place setting & stick a place a card with the guest’s name written on it inside. Above are a vintage gravy boat & sugar bowel that I found at a thrift shop for $2. Stuffed with mums, eucalyptus, dried wheat & (my favorite!) Judy Garland roses! They look Autumnal & oh so pretty!

Sad but grateful at the end of my absolute favorite series” THE AMAZING MRS. PRITCHARD” on PBS’ “Masterpiece Theatre”.Sunday night was the last episode. Though I don’t see why they can’t pick it up again if they chose. It ended on a very ambivalent note. JANE HORROCKS is an unbelievable actress & the supporting cast is marvelous! This saga of the store-manager/housewife turned Prime Minister is so wonderfully written & truthfully acted, it makes one long for this not to be fiction but reality. Amazing indeed!

So for the seven of you who do not live in the shadow of THE GROVE as I do, let me inform you that the CHRISTMAS TREE is LIT!
About 12,000 people descended on The Fairfax District last night to watch the official opening of the Holiday shopping season at Hollywood’s favorite MALL! With such illustrious celebrity guests as The GOO GOO DOLLS & PATRICK WARBURTON (“Puddy” on the long-defunct SEINFELD series, as well as some little-watched CBS Sitcom) W.O.W.!! And congratulations to all of you who beat the usurious parking fees at the mall by parking on my street! No matter that we residents had to search for hours for places to park, you shoppers are more important!!!

And speaking of specious celebs… DONALD TRUMP has announced the new (God Help us!) stars of CELEBRITY APPRENTICE! OMAROSA (Christ!) “Big Pussy” from The Sopranos, STEPHEN BALDWIN (I think he’s the blonde one who did a 3-way movie & then found Jesus!) GENE SIMMONS form K.I.S.S. & everyone’s favorite TAXI babe, MARILU HENNER. TAXI was a hit sit-com in the 50’s, so I’ve read! No wonder The Donald was desperate to snag ROSIE O’DONNELL at least she’s worked in this decade!

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Wednesday, November 14, 2007


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Oh my God! I can’t believe Thanksgiving is next week! I love this Holiday don’t you? Friends, food, family & “No Gifts Please” Perfect!
Even the decorating is easy. A few things I like to do:

Make Place Cards out of leaves. Take a fall leaf (I like magnolia or dogwood because they keep their shape) Write the guests name on it with a paint pen in silver or gold.

Take those mini pie pumpkins scoop a little out of the top & insert a taper candle. Make a line of them down the center of the table for a fantastic centerpiece. You can also use larger pumpkins for soup tureens or to hold flowers.

I sometimes use old fashioned burlap as a table cloth. It’s pretty, rustic and fall foliage looks great against it. You can pick up a remnant at any fabric store for cheap!

“Now there’s something a girl could make sacrifices for!” So said MARILYN MONROE in “All About Eve” MM was referring to a sable coat, but since she did feel that “diamonds are a girl’s best friend” she would have loved the little bauble above. The gem is an 84.37 carat white diamond that was sold today at Sotheby’s for just under $16.2 million. It is the largest top-quality, brilliant-cut white diamond ever to appear at auction. And the winning bid came from GEORGES MARCIANO, founder of the GUESS clothing company! I knew ANNA NICOLE SMITH sold a lot of jeans for them but do people still wear GUESS?? I guess they do!

There’s a terrifically bitchy article in this month’s VANITY FAIR by MAUREEN (Mrs. Tim Russert) ORTH about “WHEN WASHINGTON WAS FUN” The magazine is still a pain in the ass with about 800 pages of ads & pullouts & pop-ups. But Orth’s article is worth the trip.
In addition to swipes at the current administration, it reviles the Clinton's crassness & the Carter’s boring restraint. Orth introduces one poor billionairess, BETH DOZORETZ as the biggest social climber since WALLIS SIMPSON. This lady is apparently so “beyond the pale” as to cause CATHERINE, LADY MEYER, wife of the former British Ambassador to sniff: “Poor Beth. She did try to invite us all the time.” It’s delicious…read it!


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Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Author! Author!

That’s what they used to shout at the end of an acclaimed theatrical piece. Because as any actor will tell you if it’s not on “the page” it can’t happen. Some scripts are so good that the actors can show up, hit their marks, say the lines exactly as written, & walk off with prizes.
Most scripts need an actor’s input however. But what is indisputable is that if there is no script there are no roles, there will be no actors & the show will not go on!! This is why the studios & producers MUST settle with the Writers Guild.

It’s a Small World After All! Except it isn’t….Word from Disneyland is that the It’s A Small World Ride is closed for repairs! Those repairs would be the enlarging of the boats that carry you through the ride.
Yes! America has grown so fat that they cannot fit in the boats of the most popular attraction at our most popular theme park!

I am so sorry for KANYE WEST. His beloved mother, DONDA, was much too young to die! I have known a plastic surgeon (or three!)
And to a man, they have all counseled against “too much at the same time” Dr. West had a breast reduction, tummy tuck & lipo in a single day! All these procedures required more than 8 hours “under” anesthesia! And therein lies the problem! After 5 hours of “twilight” the odds of complications increase exponentially. Other famous women have also gone to graves too early under similar circumstances. JAMES BROWN’S wife,ADRIENNE, as well as author of THE FIRST WIVES’ CLUB, OLIVIA GOLDSMITH, suffered similar fates as Dr. West. If you’re fighting “the spread” ladies….spread out the corrections! It’s not worth it to those you leave behind! Dr. West was only 58! Obscene!!!

Thursday, November 08, 2007

DAY 4: Hollywood Held Hostage!

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As you know I live right by the gate to CBS Television City in Hollywood. Each morning, bright & early, I am now awoken by the loud cacophony of blaring horns showing support for the picketing members of the WGA. “Hey! Hey! WGA!Can’t you picket later in the day?” Just kidding! Good on you guys. Everyone I speak to thinks this will be a long, bloody drawn-out affair. I hope “everybody” is wrong!

I was not going to comment on this mainly because I adore GEORGE CLOONEY & thought he might possibly have been over-reacting. But now? Nothing doing! This from PAGE SIX:

On Friday, Clooney and gal pal Sarah Larsen were having dinner at L.A. eatery Madeo next to Fabio and a group of women. All was well until one of Fabio's pals started taking pictures of her friends. According to numerous eyewitnesses, Clooney, assuming the woman was taking snaps of him, asked her to stop - prompting Fabio to explain that the shots were of his group, not Clooney, and to tell the superstar, "Stop being a diva." Clooney started arguing back, and he and Fabio then got into a shoving match. "The waiters broke it up before it got out of hand," a witness told In Touch. Clooney then paid his check and left before finishing his meal.

O.K. Madeo is one of my favorite restaurants in L.A. It’s very “classy” So I can’t imagine what FABIO was doing there! But I thought it may have been that the lady was taking pictures of her friends & G.C. misunderstood. But then today TMZ released the above photo. And it’s very clear that the woman WAS taking photos of George! And who could blame her? If Fabio was my dinner partner & I noticed Clooney sitting close by across the room I’d be staring at George too & faster than you can say “I CAN”T BELIEVE IT’S NOT BUTTER, I’d be snapping his pic. Damn! Clooney looks hot even giving the finger!
Maybe hotter?! Besides those margarine commercials, why is Fabio famous again? Because he only has one name, like CHER?

Yikes! This from the L.A. Times today:

Authorities in Orange County are working to recover the remains of a 24-year-old Anaheim man who was killed Wednesday in a wood chipper accident in Tustin.

The tree service worker "was standing at the back end of the chipper, throwing branches into it with his co-workers nearby," said Sgt. Pat Welch of the Tustin Police Department.

"One of them looked over, and he was gone."

Just like that scene in one of my all time favorite films, FARGO. Which some studio executive likely told the Cohen Bros. to cut because it couldn’t happen in real life. Right.

So it’s Thursday night & I’m watching the “Very Special Edition” of C.S.I. which has the gimmick of featuring “Agent Sam Malone” from WITHOUT A TRACE Guest-starring. I do love ANTHONY LAPAGLIA But how come whenever networks pull these “Combined Show” Stunts the end result is always less than the sum of its parts!?
Bored! Bored! Bored! And it’s 2 hours long!

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Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Curses! Foiled Again!

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Day 2 of the Writer's strike...I snapped this with my cell phone...writers & supporters picketing in front of FOX on Pico.

My NYC spies spotted CHELSEA CLINTON with a guy & another couple walking into BOBO in the Village last night @ 10:30. Chelsea is gearing up for her run for President in 2024. I guess her opponent will be JENNA BUSH because we've completely run out of imagination in this country.

If you're famous & your parents are living for Christ sake do NOT go on DANCING WITH THE STARS!! One of them will DIE! So close on the heels of JANE SEYMOUR losing her Mum, it was announced last night that MARIE OSMOND'S Dad died. My condolences Marie.
I think this show is cursed though! Probably because of all the crappy voting decisions that have been made thus far.

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Sunday, November 04, 2007


It’s on!! The WGA has decided to strike… mark my words this is going to suck!

A few things that did not suck this weekend were:

AN AMERICAN GANGSTER. This RIDLEY SCOTT epic is definitely worth seeing. At 2 hours & 40 minutes it lasted longer than my first marriage… but I was never bored, particularly whenever the amazingly powerful DENZEL WASHINGTON was on screen. You cannot look away. He will be nominated again for an Oscar. And that RUSSELL CROWE? Ehh. Yea I know he has the Oscar, & God Knows he tries…you can always see him working. But that’s the problem. Acting with a capital A. And playing this Jewish New Jersey cop, he has never been more unattractive. Was he ever? Is he marvelously interesting & talented & I’m not getting it? Do we give extra credit to the OZZIES who can play an American accent & not “slip” Kudos though to MISS RUBY DEE who has taken a break from those NEW YORK LIFE (& many other) commercials to turn in a likely-Oscar-nominated performance. Mrs. Osssie Davis is the only one who can hold the screen when Denzel is in the shot.

NIP/TUCK is the best show on T.V. Yea I know I give that designation to other shows but this time I mean it. I finally got around to watching the season premiere. Thank God that they’ve moved the good Doctors to Los Angeles! I mean the show is about Plastic Surgeons…where the hell else should it take place? As the Drs. McNamara & Troy asked in the opener, “ Is there anyone in this town who hasn’t had plastic surgery?” And the answer is no. OLIVER PLATT is absofuckinglutely hysterical as a T.V. show producer. The scene with him in the golfcart driving the Doctors around the lot was laugh out loud funny. And my friend JENNIFER COOLIDGE’s turn as a “serious” actress looking for the truth of a woman who has her labia transplanted to her lips after an accident is classic! I cannot wait for the next episode!!

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