"I Don't Mean Rhinestones"

My fellow Southern California Gardeners: Put down that nozzle & step away from the hose! Seriously, we’re experiencing the worst drought since the early 90’s & we have to figure out some new ways to conserve water. One thing that drives me crazy are these folks who use the hose as a broom. You know them. The weekend lawn jockeys who turn on the water full blast and propel grass cuttings into the gutter…where they stay. Give up the lawn people. Plant more cactus.

You know those conspiracy theorists who think that The White House knows exactly where Osama Bin Laden is but couldn’t be bothered arresting or killing him because he serves the administration’s agenda? Well they may be on to something. Did you see President Bush’s speech tonight? Clearly he’s taking grooming advice from OBL & dipping into the Grecian Formula!

Stop! Thief! Poor Carol Channing was the victim of a robbery in Hollywood yesterday. While checking into the Renaissance Hotel on Hollywood Blvd someone walked away with one of Miss Channing’s garment bags, & boy did he hit the motherlode. The bag contained a one-of-a-kind dress made entirely of diamonds & was valued @ $150,000. Miss Channing was to donate the gown to The Smithsonian Institute along with one of her TONY Awards.

“Message in a Brothel”-Craig Ferguson on reports that STING was photographed leaving a famous house of ill repute in Germany.

Hearty Congratulations to KATHY GRIFFIN on her well deserved Emmy Award. KG won for Best Reality Show. And if you watched this past season you’ll know why. Brilliant! Her Category is given out in advance of the big show which is this Sunday…God help us! I’m going to the FOX party at Spago…more later!