"Impossible, for a plain yellow pumpkin..."

So you know that crazy-ass vine that just sprung up I told you about weeks ago? Well, the crop is in & it’s pumpkins!! But who the hell wants pumpkins during an August heat wave in Los Angeles? I sure don’t. Not really into vegetables that much; growing nor eating them. I’m a meat & potatoes kind of guy, if you know what I mean!

Infamous hotelier,LEONA HELMSLEY, died today. Thankfully there was a VACANCY sign at the door of HELL. The legendary QUEEN of MEAN became a tabloid favorite during her 80’s criminal trial for tax evasion for which she eventually ended up going to jail. Helmsley’s former maid’s testimony that Leona once said: “we don’t pay taxes, only the little people pay taxes!” was the quote that sealed her fate. Her reputation became further cemented in the MOW biopic; “The Queen of Mean” starring SUZANNE PLESHETTE in an unforgettable performance.

Speaking of bio-pics, looks like BRITNEY SPEARS is all set to play Country Canadian Crooner, ANNE MURRAY in “Snowbird: The Anne Murray Story” uhm, not really but Brit’s new growing-out do would make her a shoo-in for the role. And she can sing, or could!

This Just In: MERV GAY AFTER ALL! Hardly a bulletin, as this news did make it to Willow Grove, PA back in 1977 but The Hollywood Reporter made it official last week. Which is when things get really weird. On Friday, the day of Merv Griffin’s funeral, writer, Ray Richmond filed a story that outed Merv based on Richmond’s previous experience as a talent coordinator on Merv's show. Richmond's story was basically a valentine to Merv, but the story was eventually pulled of the THT website & wire services due to alleged pressure from Merv's powerful friends. Then "the story became the story" so back up it went on the web, but this time with revisions! So despite advances we still live in a world where beloved billionaires are afraid to come out & the reporters who tell the truth about them are threatened with libel suits & legal actions & revisions! The more things change, the more they stay the same!