The Merchant of Venice

“You haven't made it in Hollywood until someone says you're gay. The Internet is really informative - but it can also be just a huge bathroom wall." DANE COOK

I feel a little guilty about not blogging so often, but then I remember the Iraqi Parliament is taking the summer off while our troops fight on & everything falls into perspective. Fortunately my day job which is actually gardening, keeps me busy.

Click on the slideshows & see some before & afters from a recently completed job in Venice, CA. The clients were so lovely; I’m actually missing them this morning.

POSH & BECKS have landed in Los Angeles. Did you see the coverage? Unbelievable! It was like Antony & Cleopatra arriving in Rome. I still don’t think the arrival of the sport’s greatest player is going to do much to increase interest in soccer in the U.S….but these two will definitely keep the paparazzi & tabloids hopping. Beckham is gorgeous, but the minute he speaks the “Barbie Dream Bus” comes driving on out! He just sounds so uhmmm….gay!

Congratulations to REBECCA ROMIJN & JERRY O”CONNELL who were married at their home in Los Angeles this past weekend. I saw them both in Las Vegas a few months back, and let me tell you they are stunning (she particularly) and are both about 8 feet tall. They should totally have a child together….that child would give SHILOH JOLIE-PITT a run for its money.

And congrats as well to ISAIAH WASHINGTON for landing a new gig on NBC’s new series, “The Bionic Woman” The violent crazy-assed actor is now the Peacock Network’s problem. Katherine Pope, president of NBC's Universal Media Studios, says that despite the public baggage, Washington is "a brilliant actor," and she believes viewers will re-embrace him. "I think people watch characters on TV, not personalities" in the news, she says. Oh sure they do Katherine! No wonder NBC is in what? 6th place in the ratings? Falling somewhere after The Fine Living Channel! You SUCK NBC!

Hey LINDSAY LOHAN! Your fresh out of 2 months in rehab! How are you going to celebrate? What’s that you say? You’re going to VEGAS??? Rock on little sister!

I’m leaving today to do a job in our Nation’s Capitol, Washington D.C. I’ll post some updates from there. I’m sure it will be fun. I just keep thinking: “It’s not the heat…it’s the humidity!