And the winner is...

The 1st Annual GayGardener Award for wacky/tacky garden decor item:

FOREST FACES!!!
Check it out. Think those stately elms of yours are a bit boring?
Mopey maples? Ossified Oaks? Brighten them up (& You) by NAILING a face to the trunk.
Sweet Jesus! Do we really need this? Is this funny?
Bad enough those wooden cut-outs that portray "grandma" bent over in the flower garden.
And you KNOW how I feel about rubber tires or God forbid, toilets being used as planters etc.

I'll paraphrase the famous JOYCE KILMER poem:

Poems are made by fools like me;
But only an idiot does this to a tree.