Is it Really Over?

God I can't believe the holidays are really over.
"Seems we just get started & before you know it, comes the time we have to say so long!" as CAROL BURNETT used to sing.Anyway...good to be back. I really had the most marvelous Holiday Season. My birthday is December 19th (yea, thanks) & I celebrated here in TheGayGardener's Gay Garden with 20 of my closest friends for cocktails...so much fun! And for Christmas we had 20 for dinner at a gorgeous house in the Hollywood Hills(decorations by TGG were a bit "nail salonish" but it was very last minute) Sheer perfection! Plus a suprise visit by BUDDY THE ELF (who does look a bit forlorn in the photos but I blame that on too much cheap champagne!) who delighted one & all with more gifts than we could carry. I received so many terrific gifts (including an amazing original portrait of my beloved Sammy from my friends RAY G. & GESSIE G. (no relation) It IS a Wonderful life!
Hope you all had a lovely holiday as well!

Merry Christmas, Darling!

God! I love KAREN CARPENTER, don't you??

Anyway... Christmas cannot be 3 days away...I'M STILL DECORATING!!!
As many of you know, for the past 3 Christmases I've sat on SANTA'S Lap (well, he SAID his name was Santa!) & asked him for MY OWN SHOW And now one of Santa's heavenly elves, the producer, CYNTHIA HILL, created & directed a little YOUTUBE Pilot that I feel sure is interesting enough to warrant renewed interest in THEGAYGARDENER. Check it out! And Please be sure to send a link to all of your friends & have then RATE it too!!



TheGayGardener Favorite Christmas Memory #5

Christmas 1976. I've just turned 13 years old. I am crying to my Mother (Mrs. Trainer) that she does NOT really do the best job of wrapping presents. One roll of paper for 7 kids, those horrible "stick-on" star bows, no embellishments. Mrs. Trainer shrugs & heads for the coffee pot. How she didn't know then that I was gay is beyond me.
Fast Forward: Christmas 1977. Heading down the stairs towards the tree, I feel sure that she's "got it" this time, thanks to my little pep talk last year. I see 7 large dark green HEFTY LAWN & LEAF BAGS carelessly placed under the tree. Stunned & horrified, I approach. It is then I notice that upon each bag is placed a torn strip of "masking tape" with each child's name hastily written in blue ball point pen. I turn to her with a desperate look in my eyes. "Nothing I ever do is good enough for you kids...so what does it matter?" Remember, I told you that the in the National Psychiatry Index there is a photo of my Mother under PASSIVE AGRESSIVE? Or, as I like to say; she put the ASS in PASSive Agressive. The trash bags only lasted 2 years til the birth of the GIFT CARD, I am grateful to say. Maybe I sound ungrateful. But to this very day, I would rather have a beautifully wrapped, but cheap present, than some really expensive bauble. It's not the GIFT...it's the WRAPPING that counts!! Hence my reason for living in Los Angeles!

Merry Christmas my dear TheGayGardener friends! See you on YOUTUBE!
Melikelele Maka! (I think that's HAWAIIAN for Merry Christmas or maybe a new line of Shoes!!)

Top 10 Helpful Holiday Decorating Tips

TheGayGardener’s Top Ten Helpful Holiday Decorating Tips

1. Buy a real tree. It’s better for the environment. If you must use an artificial one, please remember to re-shape the wire branches once out of the box

2. They’re Christmas BALLS not BULBS (And I ought to know!)
Bulbs are for lights & some flowers. Speaking of which, forget those Holiday Bulb kits. Even if you’re lucky, you’ll only end up with red amaryllis for St. Patrick’s Day!

3. Strings of lights run less than $2.00 now. Go buy some! Forget untangling the old ones or checking the bulbs with one of those battery operated do-hingies. Go get a facial with all the time I just saved you.

4. If your tree doesn’t take you two full days to trim…You’re doing it wrong!

5. For the love of God, people PLEASE cut off all those little tags & packets of extra bulbs off the light strings. I know there are a lot of them, but is it really THAT difficult? L.a.z.y. I say.

6. A good rule of thumb is 250 l.p.f. (lights per foot. yea, I just made that up) But don’t be chintzy. Nothing annoys The Baby Jesus more than skinflints at Christmastime. It IS his Birthday
I have nearly 1500 lights on my (smallish) tree & you could land a PLANE in here.

7. From this moment on ALL GOLD GARLAND is hereby BANNED
Most especially that thin sparse stuff that’s been wrapped around an old shirt box & been in use since the Carter Administration.

8. Keep a pair of scissors in every room in the house. You’ll thank me later.

9. Satin Christmas Balls. SEE #7

10. Do Something. A wreath on the door. A candle in the window.
A big poinsettia on the table. Go out in the yard & bring some pinecones in (they’re free) It’s Christmas for Christ’s sake.

TheGayGardener Favorite Christmas Memory #3
Christmas 1994:

Ex-Partner: “Charlie you wouldn’t be so stressed out if you kept Christmas simple!”
TGG: “Michael, if God had wanted Christmas to be kept simple, He wouldn’t have had that big production in Bethlehem the first year!”