thegaygardener

Changing The World One Pansy At A Time!

Saturday, November 15, 2008

"This is Not Rosa Parks on The Bus"


Ohhh, my friends yes it is!! I promise I will eventually get back to gardening, landscaping, table top decorations & celebrities, but for the moment, Marriage Equality is all I got! “No More Mr. Nice Gay!” as a t-shirt I saw at a rally read.

The headline quote is from some Manhattan socialite in reaction to that dust-up a few years back when OPRAH WINFREY was pissed that HERMES in PARIS wouldn’t stay open late so she could buy a gift for TINA TURNER. Oprah felt the French were being racists & not everyone agreed.

Speaking of whom; where is OPRAH’s Statement on PROP 8? I know BARACK OBAMA gave that tepid little non-endorsement the week before the election, but where are all the great liberal minds of our generation? Where the hell is ROSIE O’DONNELL? I mean she has been legally married to her wife, Kelly, in every state that would allow it. She said last week that she would like to “have a beer with SARAH PALIN!” but CRICKETS regarding the passage of PROP 8.

Today, November 15th, there were hundreds of protests against PROP 8 in major cities & towns across the country. Sadly the fact that the state of CALIFORNIA is basically ABLAZE, will be the major story from the West, as it should be. But as the song used to say: “There’s Something Happening Here!”

The best take on today’s activities comes from THE ATLANTIC’S ANDREW SULLIVAN. He has been posting all day with stories from around the country, sent in by readers who have attended rallys & sent in their observations & photos. Herewith:

"Marriage means something," said one of the speakers. This speaker then told of the sudden death of his partner of thirty-four years. They had a trust; they had papers of all kinds; they had planned and prepared for every contingency - except for a lack of respect and regard for their 34 year commitment to each other. The funeral home insisted they could not cremate this man on the word of his partner of three plus decades; they needed an OK from a family member. No document, however legal, mattered on that loss and shock filled day after the unexpected death of this speaker's partner of 34 years - thirty-four years.
Think about that when you next hear that contracts and papers are enough and marriage isn't sacred or right for these people.
We are so often told by opponents of marriage equality that they do not oppose our right to have basic legal protections. What they do not understand, because they have never had to understand, is that without legal marriage, gay couples are always subject to the veto of family members who have more say over our spouses under the law than we do.


I remember a story told me during the AIDS epidemic. A man was visiting a friend dying in hospital. It was a grim scene, as it often was in those days. The next bed in the ward had a curtain drawn around it. And from behind that curtain, you could hear someone quietly singing. The man told his friend, "Well, at least that dude is keeping his spirits up, however sick he is." And the friend replied:

"Oh, that's not the patient singing. He died this morning. And his family came to collect the body. That voice you hear is the man's partner. The family didn't approve of his relationship and they have barred him from coming to the funeral and kicked him out of their shared home. That song he's singing is the song they called their own. It was playing when they met. He used to sing it to him all the time when he was dying."
"He's still singing it even though they've taken the body away. He's singing it to an empty bed. I guess it's the last time he feels he'll ever be close to the man he loved. They were together twenty years. The hospital staff don't have the heart to ask him to leave yet."


Until you have been treated as sub-human, it's hard to appreciate how it feels. We will not give up. And we will win in part for the sake of those who never made it to see this day.
This is what my faith teaches me, whatever the Vatican insists. Our love really is stronger than their fear.

For more from Andrew go to:
Andrew Sullivan

The photo above is from Friday’s LOS ANGELES TIMES. The guy in blue with his hand cupped around his mouth to amplify the BOOOO! Is ME. Thank God I look thin. The lovely blonde lezzie to my left is my friend CHRISTIAN CAPOBIANCO. I have already taken crap from friends (???) and others who question the morality (???????) of a boycott & other means of protest. I would refer you to just two (2) of the stories in ONE of the Sullivan Posts above.

“EVIL triumphs when good men do nothing!” – EDMUND BURKE

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Friday, June 06, 2008

Every Girl Ever

Thanks to ANDREW SULLIVAN for pointing me to my laugh for the day via thisclassic CRAIGSLIST Post from November, 2007:


IT"S ME: EVERY GIRL EVER!


Knock knock

Oh hi, how's it going? It's me! Every girl ever. I'm really looking forward to this date. I'm not nearly as attractive as you remember me being because when we met the bar was dark and you were drunk. Come on in.

Let's start off with the unavoidable tour of my incredibly typical post-college-girl apartment.

You'll notice that I went ahead and purchased everything that Ikea and Pier 1 have ever produced. There's my decorative birdcage over there even though I don't have a bird, and there's my gay wicker basket with bamboo poles in it. I don't know what the hell that's thing's all about, but I bought it.

Hey check it out, I have more candles in here than a Roman Catholic Church. Doesn't it smell like Hazelnut!? If I were to light all of my candles at once you could see my apartment from space! I fucking love candles!

Come on into the living room.

Oh, I see you met my cat there. That's "Freddy Paws Jr." Why don't you pet him and act like you like cats even though you hate cats? There you go. Oh, he took a little swing at your eye there huh? Yeah, he'll do that. Hey, let's check out the kitchen.

Hey look at my refrigerator. There are pictures all over it! Look at all these pictures of me and my equally vacuous friends from college! We were so crazy! You can tell we're really good friends because our faces are all pressed up against each other like that.

And check it out, we're holding up alcoholic beverages to the camera in every single picture. That's to prove that we were partying. College was so fun! But of course I don't talk to any of these girls anymore because now they're all bitches.

Let's go back into the hallway!

Hey, before we leave I'm going to go in the bathroom for ten minutes for some mysterious reason. Why don't you sit awkwardly in my big, stupid, round papizan chair over there while you wait for me. It's like you're sitting in a hug! Be right back...

Sorry that took a half an hour, I don't know what the hell I was doing in there. Let's go!

Wow! Thanks for opening my car door for me! I'm totally going to blow that meaningless gesture out of proportion and delude myself into thinking that you're a really good guy because that's what I want to believe.

Well, here we are at the restaurant. No thanks waiter, I don't need to see a menu, just bring me some expensive things. Hey I know, while we wait, I'll tell you all about my unspeakably boring job. I hate my boss. He's a jerk! I might get another job. Maybe something in pharmaceutical sales.

Now let's talk about my family. I love my family. I want you to love my family. I want my family to love you. I want you to make love to my family! I want you to go golfing with my semi-retarded brother Travis. That would be so God damned cute!

Wow! I can't believe I ordered all this food! I have no intention of eating any of it. No thanks waiter, we don't need a box. Just throw it out.

Hey, I've got an idea, let's go to a bar and have an after dinner drink! It'll be great, it will be just like how we're drinking here, only it will be louder and we'll have to stand up. Come on!

See, isn't this better? Oh hey, what a coincidence. Look over there! It's a group of my friends that I knew was going to be here. Let's go over there so that they can judge you!

Hey, I have to go to the bathroom for a half an hour again for some reason. You can stay here and talk to my unbelievably hideous friend Christine! Christine's so ugly she scares kids! Talk to her! She has a job and a family that she wants to talk to you about too. Be right back.

I'm back! Sorry I was gone for three hours, there was a line. I want to go home now.

Well here we are at my door again. This was really fun for me and not you. You should pretend like we're going to do it again sometime! Maybe I'll see you at Target a few months from now and we can avoid eye contact because you never called me. Here, have this awkward goodnight kiss that's as empty as my soul. Good night!

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