DAY 3: KATIE HELD HOSTAGE!!!!!!!!!

Oh God! That wedding in Rome was bizzare! The "nuttiest nuptials" since LIZA MINELLI Married DAVID GUEST! and like that (in)sincere coupling, holds the new record for "longest-messiest-tongue-involved-wedding kiss! GEORGIO ARMANI actually stated that the guests were pleading for them to STOP! The whole extravaganza seemed soooo staged. But God does have a vote. So the thousands of dollars in fireworks that were shot off after the ceremony were shrouded in a very thick FOG!! And that poor (pawn) BROOKE SHIELDS in her red velvet dress just seemed like an unhappy new mother dressed for a distraction!! And RICHARD GERE at the wedding?? Did the DALI LAMA say this was part of the path to enlightenment?? My favorite story is courtesy of ANDY TOWLE who linked to this tale of an abused former actor who had knowledge of Polaroid Pictures of TOM-THE-GROOM engaged in gay sex & who waited till the big wedding day to reveal this fact! Also I LOVED that the (cute!) leader of SCIENTOLOGY, DAVID MISCAVAIGE, was Tom's "BEST" Man!!!
Tom Gay Polaroids


Hey! One Way To NOT Resucitate A Dying Comedy Career is to engage in racist epithets with all the angry vitriol you can muster! As MICHAEL "KRAMER" RICHARDS can tell you just angrily yelling a horrible word at an audience member, will not put you back on the short-list of viable comedic stars suitable for mid-season replacement! WHAT WERE you thinking COSMO????

Speaking of comedy....the funniest place on Earth this weekend had to be CAESAR'S PALACE in LAS VEGAS! The 20th Annual COMIC RELIEF was dedicated to the victims of KATRINA (& you all know how I feel about NEW ORLEANS!) with perpetual hosts, ROBIN WILLIAMS, WHOOPIE GOLDBERG & BILLY CHRISTAL was so unbelievably (if very BLUE) funny! I swear that every person who ever told a funny joke was there! Here's a short list of those I actually encountered: FRED WILLAIRD, CATHERINE O'HARA, JENNIFER COOLIDGE,WHOPPIE GOLDBERG, ROBIN WILLIAMS, DANE COOK (Brilliant!!!) SARAH SILVERMAN, JIMMY KIMMEL, the lovely (& graceful) MEGAN MULLALEY, KATHY GRIFFIN, RAY ROMANO, SUSIE ESSMAN, like that... SO fu***** funny!!!! If AL QUEDA dropped the bomb, show business would cease to function!!