thegaygardener

Changing The World One Pansy At A Time!

Monday, August 18, 2008

"Tinker. Tailor, Soldier, Spy" & Lesbian Weddings!


Sorry I’ve been absent; the dog ate my homework, a dingo ate my baby, hell! I’m just busy…thank God!

Isn’t this a marvelous gift??? A “tea towel” from Great Britain given to me by my friend Bryan. Clearly not your Grandmother’s tea towel! For those of you under 40, a tea towel is a usually decorative piece of terrycloth or linen adorned with some design, picture, or quote & intended as a souvenir. This always reminds me of what Princess Diana’s sisters said to her when she expressed misgivings about her upcoming marriage to Prince Charles: “Tough Luck Dutch! Your face is already on the tea towels!” Dutch being her family nickname.

THE SPY WHO CAME IN FROM THE KITCHEN??? Last week it was revealed that in addition to bringing fine (usually French) food & cooking to the masses, the late JULIA CHILD was a SPY for The OSS…they were the “good guys” they worked for us, the U.S. Julia was so confident & so very persuasive I imagine she could have gotten any of a number of valuable secrets out of the enemy, after serving them a fabulous meal of course!

WHAT DOES SHE SMELL IN HIM??? New research revealed last week that “the pill” skews a woman’s sense of smell so much that she chooses the exact wrong mate for her to father her children. It messes with the hormonal olfactory sense so that a woman, instead of choosing the most beneficial “provider” for her “brood”, ends up selecting the best lover. I think the study is very sexist, but how often have we all asked, after meeting a friend’s new beau, what does she SEE in him? Maybe we had the wrong SENSE???

CONGRATULATIONS to ELLEN DEGENERES & PORTIA Di ROSSI on their Marriage on Saturday in Los Angeles! And to ZAC POSEN who designed a beautiful, fairytale dress for Portia to walk down the aisle in! Ellen of course wore pants but topped them with a sheer blouse & waistcoat! They looked divine & I wish them every happiness! After all that ANNE HECHE Insanity, Ellen deserves it!

So THEGAYGARDENER has had to raise his consulting & design fees by 5%. Sorry… but Jesus! The price of gas alone AND just the cost of soil! That has increased over 20% in the past year. But at least we are getting a finer quality product! The Washington Post had a story last week about the rising cost of gardening & soil & Plants etc. In it they said that the soil available for purchase today is “Pricier, but that’s what consumers want.” . "People have less time. So their garden projects have changed over time. Convenience, time-saving factors, less mess," he said. They want high-performance dirt, so charged with organic nutrients you could serve it as an appetizer. God! I wish I had written that "appetizer" line

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