The Queen's English

I mentioned DOMINICK DUNNE’s “FATAL CHARMS” yesterday. Dunne’s great gift is that he presumes you’re smart. That you know enough social & cultural history to know of whom he is speaking. He’ll help you out if it’s someone obscure or by his habit of prefacing a proper name with a job title: “The actress, Meryl Streep”, “The writer, Morris West” etc. But sometimes he’ll drop a name & if you’re like me, you run to the wikipedia page to investigate.

In F.C. he mentions an infamous LORD LUCAN. Never heard of him. I DO remember some awful ABC television series in the 70’s called LUCAN about a boy who was raised by wolves but wasn’t Royal!

Well, it turns out that LORD LUCAN is one of Great Britian’s most famous missing persons. He’s the Jimmy Hoffa or D.B.COOPER of the U.K. But its much more sordid than that.

The 7th Earl of Lucan, also known as Lord Bingham has been missing since 1974 when his children’s nanny was found murdered at the home of Lucan’s estranged wife! Lady Lucan was assaulted the same night by, she said, her husband, who then confessed to her that he killed the nanny by mistake….he had meant to kill her! He took off & has never been heard from since. He is popularly known in G.B. still as “Lucky Lucan”. A British court declared him legally dead & allowed his son & heir to use the title. I do think this would make a fascinating film & a great role for…TOM CRUISE!! I think the best way he can redeem himself is by playing some slimy, two-faced, psychopath leading a double life & I am NOT kidding.

There is a truly brilliant account of some of this scandal at the “official” website (!!!!!) of The Countess of Lucan who was accused of “mental instability” & subsequently lost custody of her children. And my God! I love the English! They freaking invented…well…English! And nobody does it better. Here’s a snippet from Lady Lucan’s site


"At Mrs. Rivett's inquest I wore a hat because of my rank as a Peeress of the Realm and I wore the same outfit on each of the four days it lasted as it is vulgar to use a tragic and grave matter such as an inquest as an opportunity to display one's wardrobe."