Q:"Why Can't Witches Have Babies?"

A: Because their husbands have "Hallow-weenies"!!
Wasn't 4th grade fun?

TheGayGardener hosted a Spooky Tea Party this past weekend, like the table? But I re-learned a lesson I had blocked out. That damn spider “webbing” never dies. It clings to everything! (I’m still picking it out of my beard) And a little goes a loooonngggg way, so buy a small bag. Or to save even more $$ just get that poly-fill that’s used to make pillows. It comes in a plain plastic bag & is generally cheaper. Plus if you felt ambitious, you could make a new throw pillow for the sofa.

Did you catch AMY SEDARIS on MARTHA yesterday? Hysterical!
Martha was making Amy’s “Lady Baltimore” cake featured in Amy’s new book (that I previously mentioned) “I Like You: Hospitality Under The Influence” As Martha started mixing the cake ingredients, the first thing Amy says is: “I assume you’ve washed your hands!”
Then Amy tells Martha that Martha’s own new book isn’t doing that well, that she’d seen lots & lots of copies at the book stores she’s visited. Amy suggested to Martha that she might want to include a “centerfold” in the inside dust jacket of her book, like Amy has in hers, because ”Sex sells, Martha!” God love her, Martha tried to roll with Amy’s “punches”, but I swear she looked happier at her sentencing.

Those 2 sweet, kooky, lovebirds, TOM CRUISE & KATIE HOLMES have set a date! November 18th! All the details of the blessed day have begun to leak out to the press, which is a shock, given how reticent the couple has been to give us a peek into their private life.
ARMANI will be designing the clothes, including Katie’s gown (or as my friends at DEFAMER call it, her “Bridal Shroud”) and a special little “kimono” for baby SURI. The happy union of these 2 devoted souls will take place in Italy, at a little cottage on Lake Como called The Villa D’Este, not at the nearby home of GEORGE CLOONEY as had been previously reported. George knows better!!

“…that crazy one-legged hooker”
- Craig Ferguson on HEATHER MILLS McCARTNEY, who’s claimed physical abuse at the hands of her former husband, SIR PAUL