Soon to Be A Major Motion Picture***

BREAKING NEWS: FACELIFT MURDER!!!

Did you hear the one about the nurse who wreaked her revenge on her high school nemesis? Seems one North Carolina anesthesiologist, Sally Jordan Hill was still a tad bitter at Sandra Baker Joyner (all Southern women are required to use three names) for stealing her high school boyfriend. The wound had festered for almost 30 years. But "every dog has her day" (sorry Ms. Hill) The still-pretty-but-ever-vain Ms.Joyner decided to get a little work done and scheduled a facelift. She did not recognize the nurse administering the anesthesia (who HAD put on a little "Post-Prom Weight!!!) Oh but the nurse recognized her! And as quickly as you can "count to ten, backwards!" Ms. Joyner was rendered permanently unconscious. God rest her soul! You cannot make this stuff up!! If a writer had submitted this as a script they would have been laughed out of the office. Some studio executive would have said, "Oh, LIKE THAT could EVER happen!"
I know some crafty producer is winging their way to Charlotte right now to sew up the film rights!! This would be a great vehicle for BETTE MIDLER & GOLDIE HAWN as a follow up to THE FIRST WIVES CLUB but sadly its too late in the day! REESE WITHERSPOON would be great in the "pretty, perky, victim" role but she's too young I think! I'd vote for JODIE FOSTER as the dead woman & the funniest actress in show business,
JENNIFER COOLIDGE in the (permanent) "NIGHT NURSE" role It can only work as a comedy... Its too sad otherwise!
This shit is HEATHERS, MEAN GIRLS & COMA all rolled into one!