thegaygardener

Changing The World One Pansy At A Time!

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Facebook, Twitter & the Whole Damn Thing






OMG! I am taking a temporary sabbatical from FACEBOOK! Besides being a pervasive creative drain (yet another excuse to not blog!) I’m finding it a challenge to maintain ”friendships” with people I went to school with 25 years ago, not to mention all the “hugs” & “Snowballs” & “Causes” & becoming “FANS” of the things they’re fans of!! Enough!

What set me off was running into an acquaintance at the nursery (plants!) So I’m “working” and this guy comes up to me & says: “Hey, I think I wrote on your wall!” “I beg your pardon?” I say. “Ummm your FACEBOOK Wall…I think I wrote on it..sent you a message!” Oh joy!!! I don’t have the time to return the texts & emails & voicemails of the folks I love or even CLIENTS, but suddenly I now have to reply to people I barely know!!?????

And what the hell is TWITTER? I can now announce to the world in 20 words or less what I am up to & thousands of people will be interested? Seriously? My life partner isn’t all that interested in what I am doing & my speeches to him are certainly more than 20 words! Am I just the “cranky-old-homo-in-the-cardigan-sweater” that I always feared I would be???

Let’s face it! Despite THE SECRET, OPRAH!, & Eckhart Tolle, the whole world is going to hell in a hand basket! Aren’t your days a lot like mine?

The 6:30 Alarm rings. Hit SNOOZE. Hit Snooze again! And Again!

7:00 am-out of bed-LATE! And your brain turns ON:
What day is it? Shit! I have to work! Glad I sill have a job! What do I wear? Did I set the coffee maker? Damn it! Is there clean underwear? Turn on the news. The MARKET did WHAT??? WARREN BUFFET SAID WHAT? Oh! Thank God! There’s BARACK!!! He’s in charge! Thank you Jesus! That wasn’t a DREAM! I have to leave early because I need gas! HOW MUCH IS GAS???? SERIOUSLY??? What bills are due today? Why is my AMERICAN EXPRESS BILLL FOUR TIMES what it was 3 months ago when I have ceased using it? Did I pay the car insurance? Why is THAT So expensive? COFFEE!!! COFFEE! COFFEE! How much longer can I afford this outrageously expensive moisturizer? Did I LOSE EVEN MORE HAIR in my sleep??? Did I pay the Bank of AMERICA VISA? Why is their CEO such a TOOL? STILL Flying in a private plane to meet with Government Officials to explain why BofA needs MORE BAIL-OUT $$$$$??? Why does it take me over an hour to get to work when MAPQUEST says it should take 23 minutes???
DID I Pay the BofA VISA??? Should I go to the grocery store now or wait for the Sunday Paper coupons??? BUT I’m HUNGRY NOW! HOW MUCH was the AT&T phone bill? did I pay that??? Why is that so much money? I live by myself. Do I really talk on the phone that much? Shit! I have to file my INCOME TAXES?!! Is that ANOTHER “laugh line-wrinkle under my left eye?" DID I PAY THE BofA VISA??? And yes it is now 8:40 a.m. Are YOUR DAYS LIKE THIS???? I just BET they are!!! GOD BLESS US EVERYONE!

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