Dear Mr Jackman

Wow! Now THAT was an OSCAR show!! Oh sure there’s that endless middle segment that last about three hours; where you could leave & repaint the den & not have missed anything. And there’s what 4? 5? Million commercials?? But hell! I have not enjoyed an Oscar telecast more than when I was a little boy & that long haired “streaker” ran across the screen & tried in vain to upstage DAVID NIVEN.

There were the usual fashion disasters: Jessica Biehl wearing a similar table cloth to Jennifer Hudson’s at the Grammys, Amy Adams blending perfectly into the red carpet she appeared as a floating head above it all, Miley Cyrus in her GLENDA number from WICKED, and of course BEYONCE but at least she has the excuse that her Mother made it! ARDENT PLEA FROM THEGAYGARDENER: I am sure your stylists told you this ladies but PLEASE can we RETIRE the one arm on the hip look forever??? It is so unnatural! O.K. maybe it makes your arm (singular!) look more toned & shows off the gown a wee bit better but seriously you all look like rejects from the VICTORIA BECKHAM MODELING SCHOOL! You too SOFIA!!

Christ! I know Sofia Loren is like 80 so c’mon. Honey, we know it’s a wig, & self tanner & veeners & duct tape…how about next year you show up in basic black with a little gray streaked in the wig just for authenticity?? But I do have to say I LOVED the old-timers; or say veterans, presenting the awards to the new nominees. MARION COTILLIARD was so convincing in her tribute to KATE WINSLET I wanted to give her ANOTHER OSCAR. I do wonder if SHIRLEY MacLaine has ever even met ANNE HATHAWAY but by & large I really bought it! It was rather…classy no?

But the main reason the show worked is that for the very first time they had a genuine MOVIE STAR as the host! A tall, drop dead gorgeous actor, who looks like he was born in a tuxedo, and oh, did I mention that he can SING & DANCE & ACT???? And if that wasn’t enough, he speaks in the sexiest accent on the damn globe- AUSTRALIAN!!! Yea. HUGH JACKMAN, Period! I would watch him if he was reading the proverbial Phone Book. Which is not to say I could sit through AUSTRALIA (the movie) but I want to now vote him OSCAR HOST FOR LIFE!!!

Dear Mr. Jackman,
I am writing this to you,
and I hope that you will read it so you'll know,
My heart beats like a hammer,
And I stutter and I stammer,
Every time I see you at the picture show.
I guess I'm just another fan of yours,
And I thought I'd write,
and tell you so.

You made me love you,
I didn't wanna do it, I didn't wanna do it,
You made me love you!
And all the time you knew it, I guess you always knew it.
You made me happy, sometimes, you made me glad.
But there were times, sir,
You made me feel so sad.
You made me sigh 'cause,
I didn't wanna tell you, I didn't wanna tell you,
I think you're grand!
That's true, yes I do, 'deed I do, you know I do.
I must tell you what I'm feeling,
The very mention of your name
Sends my heart reeling,
You know you made me love you.

I don't care what happens,
let the whole world stop,
As far as I'm concerned you'll always be the top!
'Cause you know you made me love you!
(With apologies to Judy Garland & Clark Gable)