thegaygardener

Changing The World One Pansy At A Time!

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

How Much Was It Again?



Yea, so I’ve finished building my ARK & am ready for any additional rain fall that maybe in store. We’ve already had like 5 inches in 7 days so…bring it on! California is such a land of extremes. It doesn’t rain for five years & then we get five years worth of rain in a week! We elect a fiscally-conservative-former-actor-Republican (again!) to balance our budgets & he brings us to a financial abyss where we are headed for bankruptcy (it’s not ALL AHHHHNOLD’s fault but c’mon!)

But I still so do love it here after almost 17 years. Where else can you hear conversations like this at the grocery store:
Clerk: “So…have you been to Palm Springs lately?”
Attractive Middle aged customer (lots of fresh veggies in cart): “Oh no we RENTED it out!” “In this economy, you HAVE to RENT EVERYTHING you OWN!!!!!’


Christ! I’d just like to OWN something. So I could LIVE in it!!

I’ve made an informal study of this; but the TRUE DIFFERENCE between men & women can be seen at the grocery store! Forget all the MARS & VENUS stuff…watch the checkout aisle. The woman approaches, greets the clerk, chats a bit, and waits…and waits..and waits! THEN when everything is rung up & she’s told the total; THEN she reaches for her (enormous) purse. Places it on the counter & begins to look for her wallet. Finds it, then asks for the amount to be repeated. Starts looking for cash, then a credit card, oh no wait…she thinks she’ll write a check today!! “How much was it again?” “Oh! I forgot to give you my “Club Card” “And silly me I had coupons too!” “Wait a minute…I’ll find them!” “Do you sell stamps?” “Can I write the check for ‘over’ & you give me cash back?” “How much was it again?” “What’s the date today?” At this point most women will be aware of the long line of fuming folks behind her & give a wan smile & silently gesture toward the clerk, with a roll of her eyes; as if it’s the clerk’s fault!

Contrast this with a man. He’s already previously determined whether he can legally be in the 15 ITEMS OR LESS Line. He silently places his items on the conveyor belt. And also has placed those little marker bars between his own order & the one coming after him (& also after the check writing lady in front of him because she has neglected to do so!) As he places his things on the belt he “guesstimates” their cost based on his memory of what the shelf signs had said: (silently) “eggs=$2.99, butter=$3.99, milk=$4.69” etc. Now it’s his turn. He greets the clerk and already has in his hot little hand his a) Club Card b) coupons (if he even has any) c) credit card d) or roughly the amount of cash he estimated his purchase would cost AND he’s already decided: “Paper or Plastic” and has instructed the bagger accordingly!!

Think I’m a sexist pig? Think I’m exaggerating? Conduct you own little test the next time your at the market. There are exceptions to every rule; but just not enough at the market.

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