I'd Like to Thank the Academy!

Oscar, schmoscar…last night I went to a party for a LAMP!!!
Oh yes, it’s a big weekend in Los Angeles. All the hotels are booked with stylist’s suites & free swag & the stars have all “got their drink on!” But me? The fancy exterior designer? I got invited to a party at a very chi-chi lighting store to celebrate the 50th Anniversary of the PH Artichoke! Which is a chandelier in the shape of an artichoke!!! I’m a very lucky man. Seriously though; while I recognize that this is a lighting & design icon, surely worthy of some note, I am left to wonder if it could ever be worth it’s nearly $100,00 price tag even if its done in 24k gold.
This is why I’ll never be CLASSY with a capital K! I walk into so many homes in L.A. And spin around & point: “Pottery Barn, Crate & Barrel, West Elm, IKEA, Mitchell Gold, Ballard Design!!!” With a little Frontgate thrown in. I get it! It’s easy. You don’t have to think about it because it all “GOES” together!! It’s functional & comfortable. But I have seen double-wide trailers in the South with more STYLE!!! So if you walk into my house (or a place I have done) and say ”I got that at IKEA too!!” I will die a little inside. So if you can knock-off of a famous interior design piece; I say more power to you, but then why would any spend 100,000 times as much for “the original” You would have to loudly announce to your guests that this was the case. And while I have been on tours of private homes in L.A. where they are more than happy to tell you the price of everything…I don’t recommend this sort of thing!! It’s just tacky!! Nor do I recommend the big joke that is “Design Within Reach (DWR)” I always laugh at that & think: “”Who’s reach?” Do I really need to spend a few thousand dollars on a plastic sofa??? Mmmm NO! I Don’t! But there was a free OPEN BAR & passed hors d’oeuvres so who am I to complain?

Well, I CAN complain about the MOVIES. Yuck! I almost forgot it was even OSCAR WEEKEND Which is a mortal sin as THE OSCARS ARE the GAY SUPERBOWL!! But I think I really enjoyed about three films this year. One. As I mentioned before; was THE VISITOR which I thought was just about perfect! And yes for the love of God please let’s give HEATH LEDGER a posthumous OSCAR he was very good in THE DARK KNIGHT and sadly will not live to fulfill his potential. I would LOVE to see SEAN PENN upset MICKEY ROURKE & win Best Actor. Penn has NEVER given a bad performance, and as a gay man I am sure I am prejudiced, but I LOVED MILK!!!! The Wrestler is quite good but MILK is about HISTORY…where we came from & where we are going as a people! All of us. And sure! Give that lovely KATE WINSLETT the Gold Man for ALL of her (what??? 7, 8, 12?) performances this year!! She IS a marvelous Actress & has been nominated more time without a win than almost anybody living! (except for maybe PETER O’TOOLE) Truth to tell the ONLY thing I am really looking forward to is HUGH JACKMAN hosting!! This guy has got to be the best looking & most all around talented performer working today. He is drop dead gorgeous, sexy, he can act, he can sing, & he can dance . The true “TRIPLE THREAT” as we used to say in the chorus on Broadway!

But what a crappy year for the movies, no? I blame GEORGE BUSH, as I do for almost anything. I Wish You All a very HAPPY OSCAR!! I hope you win “the pool” and I hope there are some God-awful red carpet moments that we can ALL enjoy!!