Failure To Yield

I love this town! 2 months ago I got a ticket for a moving violation. So I spent most of the day taking the on-line traffic school class. 5 hours out of my day & I'm only half way done. But it's better than having your insurance premiums increase! A few months after I moved to L.A I got my very first ticket for making a "U-turn in A Business District" (in front of Gucci in Beverly Hills) The cop was so nice & so handsome that I really didn't mind at all. He told me about traffic school which I had never heard of. In the pre-computer days though you actually had to sit in a classroom for 8 hours. I went to the DMV to get a list of "approved" traffic schools, (that must be a scintillating audition process) Anyway the traffic school I chose was (I am NOT kidding) F.A.G.S.!! Which stood for: Finally A Gay (traffic) School!! Even better I showed up on the appointed day to find that the instructor was a comedian named ANT (one name, like Cher) who graduted to bigger things with NBC's "Last Comic Standing" & whom you may know as the host of "Celebrity Fit Club" As CINDY ADAMS would say (if she lived on this coast) "Only in L.A kids, only in L.A."

So the numbers are out for sales of PARIS HILTON'S CD called, oddly enough, PARIS! featuring the single, "Stars Are Blind"
Unfortunately only 75,000 discs were sold in its first week. I heard that these are not actual retail sales but that the HILTON Corporation bought them to replace the bibles in their hotel rooms! Darling deluded Paris, Stars may be Blind, but music lovers aren't deaf!!