The Devil Wears RACHEL GETTING MARRIED

Yea! I know the old saying that “A critic is a legless man that teaches running.” But screw that. I RAN to see a film tonight that has garnered great reviews called: RACHEL GETTING MARRIED directed by JONATHAN DEMME & Starring ANNE HATHAWAY. Now, The SILENCE OF THE LAMBS is one of my favorite films & I think it a prefect film directed by Mr. Demme. And I LOVE Anne Hathaway. I have loved her since THE PRINCESS DIARIES & thought that any young “girl” actress who could hold the screen with MERYL STREEP, as she did time & time again in the brilliant, THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA, is certainly a talent to be reckoned with. And also I thought she was brilliant & clearly under appreciated in BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN. Having said all this, I think
that RACHEL GETTING MARRIED is one of the biggest pieces of crap I have ever seen on film. I saw it at The Arclight in Hollywood & deeply regret the $14 I paid for assigned seating. But more importantly I regret the two hours I wasted from my life watching some of the most under-written, yet oddly over-played scenes ever on film! As a gay man, I can honestly say that I would rather kill myself than attend such an ugly, sparse, yet over-done wedding! Give me JESSICA & NICK any old day. Any filmthat brings back the reclusive, yet endearing & hugely talented, DEBRA WINGER just to have her sleep-walk thorugh the film, only to regain consousness just in time to punch her daughter, as played by Hathaway, in the mouth…deserves to remain unseen!

All was not lost at The ArcLight however. I escaped from the theatre with the wind behind me. And after watching Ms Hathaway unconvincingly smoke for two hours…I desperately needed a cigarette. I am standing outside the theatre when a stunning blonde with a terrific body, beautifully & sexily dressed, approaches: “I’m sorry, but would you have a light?” I whip out my lighter & light her cigarette. I look closely at this amazing creature & suddenly realize…">IT’S ELLEN BARKIN !!!! I meekly say: “ How are you?” She says “Good!” I say: “You look GREAT!” And I MEAN it! And she responds: “Thank you! That’s always nice to hear!” And saunters away. Perfectly. And I think DAMN!! Now that’s a scene I would have paid to see, let alone be in! The satisfying drama wa really going on outside the ArcLight.