Away In Manger

So a friend (???) emailed me on Facebook to find out “what LAWN I stole the Baby Jesus from?” that was featured in my Christmas Decorations (“Buon Natale 08”) Well I guess the honest answer is: my parents lawn. But let me explain.

Do you want to know how GAY I was as a child?? For my 12th Birthday I asked for a “light-up HOLY FAMILY”. Yea you read correctly. I was so into Christmas & the requisite “decorating” & everyone said I had “a FLAIR” that much unlike other 12 year old boys who were asking for new hockey sticks, or “spikes” or baseball gloves or other utterly depressing items, I was begging for objects for display on my Parent’s front lawn.

Since my Birthday is so close to Christmas (December 19th) I was hoping to double down & end up with the whole NATIVITY ENSEMBLE in one season. My parents bought me the MARY & JOSEPH. I purchased the Baby Jesus with the plastic manger accessory included. My 6 brothers & sisters chipped in & bought me 2 of the three WISE MEN (which because of my o.c.d. had to wait for the following year for their unveiling as what gay guy could work with only ¾ of a TRIO?) But it is the thought that counts. And I refuse to accuse them of racism just because they only purchased the WHITE WISE MEN.

In any event, I built a “stable” out of left over lumber and since my Dad worked in Insurance (as one of his 9 jobs) and since the insurance company covered the local race track; I prevailed upon him to visit the “actual” stables & bring home some straw or hay for an authentic effect! Which, to his credit. he uncomplainingly did!

It was some seasons before I could build up to Shepherds & sheep & other animals….but I managed. My dream was to have the whole Nativity tableaux with a Santa Clause & sleigh & eight reindeer (plus RUDOPLH!) flying high above them just to “tie up” the entire Christmas Story but I never did achieve this worthy goal. Partly because my neighbors wouldn’t agree to having guy wire strung between our two homes with lighted electrical decorations attached. But mainly because I got distracted by KNOTTS LANDING or FALCON CREST or DYNASTY (before they went or MOLDAVIA) or something, in all honesty.
But the work goes on, the cause endures, the hope still lives, and the dream shall never die. In the immortal words of Sen. Ted Kennedy.

So the “front lawn” in question my dear “K.R” is 2909 Thunderhead Road…a place that lives only in my dreams!